I Need Alone

That happy day only lasted that one day. Things went straight downhill again the next day. Actually, things started out well.

I picked Galya up from school. It's been a little while since we've done such a thing. I got out of my car, stood in the crowd, looking for her, and I glanced behind me to find that she passed me somehow in the two seconds I was zoning. Apparently Ben saw me there, too, but I didn't see him at all. I guess I was zoning longer than I thought I was.

Galya and I went to Foggy Bottom again, as is customary. I think she owes me a lunch or two now. I tend to buy shit for people and I don't expect anything in return. Now that I'm hurting for money, this is going to be a problem. If we go out on another Friday, I'm making her pay or we're not doing anything at all. We caught up a bit, though. I texted Jake for her, and now she's convinced that she's blocked on his phone. Because of Cece, not because of him.

When we got to work, I gave Galya the shirt I was wearing because the clothes she had for school weren't remotely modest enough for the shop. Jake stopped by about twenty minutes later and gave her an extra shirt he had. It was weird seeing Galya in a field hockey shirt, though. Good golly, I miss playing that.

Things went well straight off. Wes had me do cut table and initially my prep was boxes. Ben was working, so I didn't have to do bread sticks, and he had Sarah do tubs of sauce. Which should have left me with nothing, but we always have a person that has boxes as prep on Friday. For once in a long time, I was supposed to be that person.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. Nearing the end of our rush, Sarah fucked up. I was cutting pizzas, paying attention to those boxes that she and Ben marked, but sometimes Sarah got ahead of me. It was fine when Ben did it, because he actually paid attention to what he was doing. While I was cutting one pizza, Sarah went behind me and grabbed a couple marked boxes and brought it up to the front. I think I tried stopping her, saying that she may not have gotten the right boxes, but I wasn't really paying attention to what she really grabbed. I just know that I organize the way I put boxes when I'm done cutting them, and something felt off. I should have spoke up louder, because that little mistake sent us back a lot.

Wes threw a little fit. At first him and Ralph turned on me, concluding that I had misboxed. Hell fucking no. I was paying attention to my shit. The only time I have misboxed while I've been assigned to cut table was on Halloween, when someone stuck an extra pepperoni box in with the mix and it somehow worked out. I still have no idea how that went so smoothly. Like, the box was put in there perfectly so that it matched up with the pizzas coming out - no problem. Other than that, I haven't put the wrong pizza in the wrong box.

I immediately defended myself, saying that there was no possible way that I screwed up. And, since I was one hundred percent sure it was Sarah, I defended Ben. When I told Wes that Ben was hardly touching the boxes, he snapped at me to just shut up. I did. He was already pissed off, and in no way was I making things worse. I'm a firm believer in my justice, but I didn't want to lose my job over Sarah. Fucking cunt.

I like her less and less. Every time I work with her.

While we (note: Wes) was trying to figure out how to fix the problem, we had both customers on our asses. One called, saying that he didn't get the right pizza, and another was waiting in carry-out. He was told his pizza would be out soon. Well, it would have been, but it went home with someone else thanks to Sarah's inability to fucking read.

That little thing set me off for the rest of the night. I was furious. People knew it, too. Galya kept telling me to settle down and let it go. But I couldn't. I let things like that get to me. It was in no way my fault, and this I know, but it still pissed me the fuck off.

Sarah's ineptness wasn't the only problem that night, either. Erich came in for his pay check when Galya and I were the only inside people on the clock, and he left. We all assumed he went to go cash it. Come five o'clock, he hadn't showed up again. Ten after, still no Erich. Half an hour later, and with a couple phone calls to his house, we still couldn't get a hold of him. We went the whole day without Erich. John was up front topping pizzas in his place. And, since Nate wasn't driving, either, we were short our usual full crew of drivers. Amy was there, which helped us out, and John did take quite a few deliveries, but we were short handed all over the place. I dunno why Nate had the day off.

Without Erich, that meant that we didn't have anyone to prep and clean the front. John was closing driver in Nate's place, so he couldn't do it. That left me. Someone did clean the cut table for me - I think that was Sarah (instead of cleaning carry-out and phones with Ben) - so all of my prep was switched to front make line. It really isn't that hard to do, but I was supposed to have a fucking easy day and Sarah had already pissed me off. She didn't even do anything to me. She's usually friendly towards me.

As always, I was one of the last people there. Wes gave me a movie to borrow, I got my Avengers DVD back from him, and we talked about how great the movie was all night. I still haven't watched the movie he gave me. I was in a relatively good mood later that night, once everyone left, but it wasn't the good mood I needed. Things just weren't bad.

I drove around again after work instead of going home. I texted Olivia, seeing if she'd want to hitch a ride with me, but she said Al was over. So that didn't work out. I was alone again. So what did I do? I cranked up the bass, turned to the beginning of the Avenged Sevenfold CD I burnt, and blared the sound. I followed North Territorial for a bit, but ended up going south on 52 past Chelsea.

When I got home, Dad was sitting in the living room with payment statements all around him. He had a list of everything he had to pay off and he said it looked unusually long this month. I think I gave him a proposition for an answer. I told him, though, that I was planning on getting a second job over the summer to better pay for college. I'm serious about this. I probably won't like it, but that's life anyway, right? Especially if you ask my mom.

I don't think I went to bed until five in the morning again. I don't even know what I was doing. I got a load of laundry done, and that's about it.

My family woke me up a little before noon on Saturday. I woke up, got dressed and ready, and then I just sat on the chair and stared at the clock. About ten minutes to noon, I suddenly jumped up and asked if I had time to go cash my check. My mom let me go, so I went. And made it to the bank with 45 seconds to spare.

The guy that cashes my checks every time I go in there - I totally forget his name, though I want to say it starts with a D now - has been greeting me personally every time I walk in there. Yesterday he was still as friendly as ever (moreso, I'd say) and conversed with me. Even though I was hardly in the bank for a minute. He was quick.

When I came back home, I still had to wait for my family to be finished. But once we were all ready, we climbed into the truck, and we were on our way for the tour. Walden Woods is the name of the place. Actually, I think it's a whole huge network that crosses the country. So we took our tour of the place, learned about how we can camp for free at any place that supports this program, and receive a lot of discounted prices for other things pertaining to travel. The only thing is, it's kind of expensive and we think we have to get this in ten year periods. Nothing more, nothing less. I dunno. It sounds cool because I want to do a trip around the states this summer (despite the fact that I'm going to try and get two jobs), and this would totally make it possible.

We were there for quite a while. We were in there at about one o'clock, and we got out a little after four. And, since our schedules were all fucked up by missing lunch and shit, we went to Los Tres Amigos in Ann Arbor. And ate. I ate way too much, but at the same time it was so good. I do like Mexican food. At least, I like tacos.

It was a good thing I requested Saturday off work. Though, I read Abbi's journal, and I'm rather sad that I missed the day at the same time. Apparently Zach was going a bit nuts and Nate was suddenly a social butterfly. Kind of makes me wonder if it's me. But that's just stupid. Besides, I miss Abbi. :/

Bleh.

After dinner, we made it home, I took care of the rabbits, and I thought I was good to go and do things I meant to do before we left for Walden Woods. I went to the bank because I needed money, but I wanted to hit Chelsea to check out a shop that was hiring.

Well, that didn't work out. My mom caught me and made me help decorate the tree until it was finished. I'll admit, I don't hate Christmas the way I used to. Now that I actually give rather than just receive like a child, I feel like I'm being a little less selfless. Still, the holiday is way too commercialized and I still don't see it as a great holiday. It deserves much less attention.

Finally, once the tree was perfect, she begrudgingly let me go. I grabbed a coat, keys, and I was out the door. First, I went to Chelsea to find that the shop was closed down.

It's a car wash slash oil change place, I think, and they have advertised that they're looking for parttime help. I wouldn't mind if I knew how a car basically worked so that I don't have to see someone else in order to change the oil in my vehicle. Of course, I could always ask my dad, but I might as well learn by doing and getting paid. But I'll only be able to work mornings due to school and my already existing job at Classic. And I hardly get to see people I love as it is. But I usually sleep in the time when I'm hoping this job is open, so that won't effect much. Besides sleep patterns. Which is probably a good thing.

That's probably not going to happen, though. So I'm not going to let my mood fluctuate any way depending on the outcome. I'm going to head to Chelsea before or after class on Monday, see if the place is open, and if it's not, probably give up. Because it doesn't mean much. It'll probably end up ruining my life if I get the job.

Although, did I mention that I was talking to Ralph and he said that once they trained John, they probably wouldn't have me manage anymore? I got to fight for my case again. They can't train me up and then dump me. John just wants to make money, and he'll make the most money if he drives. I'll talk to John about it when we close this weekend together, if not before that. Because I need to know what he really thinks and straighten this all out. Why does it feel like I'm the only one putting effort forth into making something straight, though? Sometimes, I get rather sick of that.

Wes says I want to manage for the power. XD Haha. Maybe a little. But no. For hours. For money.

For closing with Nate?

Oh dear. Here we go again.

Anyway, yesterday, when I found out that the shop was closed in Chelsea, I dropped my overdue book off at the library and picked Olivia up. I didn't give her enough warning that I was picking her up at that specific time, so I had to wait a bit. When I finally walked up to her door, she was coming out and I scared the shit out of her. For some reason, I like scaring people. It's funny.

We headed over to Jess's house, picked her up, and then were off to Bates. Olivia taught us how to free board a bit better and I feel like I finally picked up on the balance. It's completely different from the balance you need on the ice or walking. Maybe because it's perpendicular rather than lateral center of gravity, as well as the way the body is oriented in comparison to the way you're moving. I still had issues. When Olivia tried showing off a bit, though, she dirfed it and we ended up calling it quits. It was freezing outside anyway.

We just kinda drove around. We were going to walk around downtown, but when I got there, I couldn't find a parking spot and I eventually gave up. So we tried going to Best Buy, but as soon as we pulled in, they were closing down. At nine on a Saturday night. We thought that was the weirdest thing ever. Confused as hell, we just ended up driving around. I took Lohr to Textile and Jess and Olivia were freaking out that we were lost. Granted, I didn't know where we were specifically, but we were not lost. You want lost, you talk about the Monday after I told Nate I liked him. That was lost. I didn't just not know where I was, I couldn't figure out how to get back home. It took me a couple hours to do that.

After we figured out where we were (we ended up on Pleasant Lake, which is where Parker ended), we went to Meijer, where Olivia bought us a crap ton of junk food. That food, we took back to Jessica's house, cooked some of it up, and ate almost all of it. It was pretty impressive. Not gonna lie. I made a whole box of noodles. I love noodles, okay?

We talked about whatever came to mind. We watched an episode of Doctor Who, in which I had to explain a few things to catch them up to where I was at, but I didn't get to hear half of what was going on. I'm not going to rewatch the episode. Olivia introduced us to South Park. It's crude, which is what I expected, but at the same time it strikes the truth and it's funny. And I never realized just how much South Park is referenced in Classic Pizza. I say things from that show and I didn't even realize they were from there.

As we were going to bed, and Jess was mostly asleep, Olivia started teasing me with words again. Every time we're together, and we spend the night, she does this to me. She brings me pain.

She knows how I feel about Nate. I go to her to help sort through my emotions and try to figure him out. She often can't help me, so then she turns everything on me. Except, this time, she used Nate and Wes on me. Wes as in the Dread Pirate Roberts Wes, not Wes my boss Wes. This could turn out to be a problem.

She wouldn't shut up. She kept going on and on about how I wanted them, and how they wanted me, and while most of it probably wasn't even close to true ... it was bad. XD

See, I was texting Wes all night. I kind of ignored him unintentionally while we were free boarding and while I was driving and everything, and then again when we were cooking our midnight snacks, but we were talking all night afterwards until five in the morning. At one point - she could tell that it was Wes that was texting me because 1) he was the only person texting me and 2) I got a big smile on my face every time my phone buzzed - she stole my phone and said what she was typing to him. I did not appreciate it, and I tried attacking her, but she threatened to punch me in the face and then spray me in the face with Febreeze. I know she'll go through with her threats, so I was left to sit on Jess's bed and stare her down all angry-like. When Wes texted her back, I was freaking out.

Turns out, she didn't send anything of what she said she was sending. I apologized to Wes anyway, explaining exactly what had happened ... and he laughed. lol

He opened up to me last night. He said he'd explain something a few days ago later, and last night was the night. I "aww'd" at some point while reading it, and Olivia begged to read what he said, but it was his personal things, not mine, to share. She still doesn't know what it was he said to me. It's going to stay that way. For now, at the very least.

I don't know if it was because we were getting personal with each other instead of just talking about our days, or if it was because Olivia wouldn't stop torturing me with what Wes would do with me, but good golly. I really like this guy now, and I've been telling him that. And I really can't wait to actually meet him on Tuesday. Bah.

Olivia warned me that I'd lose this guy if I stop texting him for long periods of time. I agree with her to an extent, but ... at the same time, I don't feel like it'd be that way with him. He understands.

We woke up about three in the afternoon today. I finally dragged my butt in our door about five, and I barely had drive to do the assignments for my Psych class. Wes had to bug me about getting my quiz finished. XD Which I did finish. With, like, half an hour to spare. And I did well. So. HA!

Before dinner, and before Wes was texting me, though, I felt so down. I have no idea why. Well, actually.... But I still can't banish Nate from my mind. 'Livi's right. I do want him. But I'm really, really hoping things go well with Wes. I kind of have a feeling that they will. I've never had that feeling with Nate. My guess is that it's just lust with him. Wes, we have something on a more personal level going. That's what I was looking for. That's what I want in my life.

Besides, I want my first guy to be my last guy. I can try my hardest to make sure that actually turns out. I don't want to just jump into a physical relationship. That's not me. It doesn't make me feel comfortable in the least bit.

You're supposed to marry your best friend ... but at the same time, it's a bad idea to be roommates with your best friend. What the fuck? Mixed messages much? Why did I only just realize this now?

Oh, and apparently, I can shake my ass and move my hips tantalizingly well. Why do I always discover this sort of shit at Jessica's house?

It's like when we were at work, and Galya and I were talking about undergarments. Nate was doing dishes, and I have no idea who else was around. If anyone. But when I finished cleaning off the top of the heat rack, I jumped off of whatever I was standing on (I think another shelf from the same rack and still somehow managed to balance) and just booty dropped to the floor. Compliments of Julie's teachings. Galya flipped out, and her immediate response was to turn to Nate and ask him if he saw what I just did. Thankfully, no, he didn't. I thought it was hilarious, but at the same time, did she have to involve Nate?

Bah.

SONG OF THE DAY: U Can't Touch This ~ MC Hammer