I Need This

I can't believe I haven't written more journals. I need to do this. Like, seriously, I don't even.... Good golly, I'm falling back into fucking Tumblr speak. And I realize I can't speak even normally without swearing. It's ingrained.

Anyway, I get to describe today and yesterday. There's actually not a whole lot to it, but I think I can sprinkle in a couple other things that I've never mentioned before. Like, I don't even know how.

Good fucking golly. Shut the fuck up, men.

Ah-hem!

So. Yesterday.

It really wasn't an eventful day until after lecture. Thankfully Eric wasn't in class, no idea why, but I don't really want to deal with him right now. Because I don't want him flirting with me. I know, he and Furious are probably the only guys to ever flirt with me (Friedboy just failed at life), but Eric would never work. He's ten years older than me, I don't find him entertaining enough to think he'll actually work out. I dunno. He isn't for me.

After lecture, though, I went down to the library to work on a Writing Center assignment. I got it done quickly enough. I needed to make sure they were more conformist than what I usually write, and it was a little hard to write quotes when they're out of context.

While I was doing the assignment, though, I finally figured out what I was going to text Nate. I posted on Tumblr the night before that I wanted to just text him and ask if he'd hang out with me after class. Nothing inside of me told me that it was a bad idea, but I couldn't figure out how to word it. Once I had it, though, I typed it up, sent it, and then I had to push my worries away.

He rejected the offer. He said he was weight lifting with Kevin about an hour after class, and therefore couldn't hang out with me. I should have known. Those two are always together if neither of them are doing anything else. If Nate doesn't have a game, school, or work. If Kevin doesn't have work, school, or his girlfriend to hang out with. Pretty much.... I know both of these guys, so. *shrug*

I was disappointed, but it wasn't like he flat-out said no. He gave me a viable reason, and from what I could hear of his voice in the text, he wasn't mean about it at all. I dunno what I'm really even talking about. So I told him, I guess I'll see you Friday. He texted back, "yeah buddy."

So, unlike what I thought before, I'm not annoying him. He wouldn't have said that if I was. I still don't know if I have a shot at him for more than a friend, but at least I know he's a friend. I just remember Kevin asking me before he was fired, "Isn't Nate your friend, too?" I didn't know how to respond, since I never really talked to him. Now I don't remember what elicited that question.

That was the first disappointment.

After I had finished my Writing Center assignment, I tried printing it out in the main part of the library, but I just couldn't figure out how. Eventually I was told that I need to go into the Computer Commons and print it off there. I was trying to avoid spending money, because ... seriously, do I need to explain why? And then I realized that I needed to put money on my account, but I didn't have any ones on me. So then I needed to go back downstairs into the library, ask the lady behind the desk to exchange my ten for some singles, and then I eventually printed off the paper.

Problem was, that ten was supposed to be Jake's. Cuz he paid some of the money to buy the turkeys, but then he could never get around to building them a place nor to come over to my house and pick them up. I think he's just a mother fucking fucker.

Anyway, as soon as I got the pages printed, I went off to the other building to get to the Writing Center. When I got in the hallway, I saw a 'CLOSED' sign. I couldn't let that happen. So, instead of acknowledging the sign, I walked inside and one of the guys had to tell me the place was closed.

In short, I spent an hour getting the assignment typed and printed for it to be rejected. That was the day it was due. Sure, the Writing Center would be opened later at six to nine, but I wasn't sticking around the fucking building for three hours waiting for the tutors or whatever the fuck they're called to regroup and accept my fucking assignment.

I had to hold in tears as I walked away from the Writing Center to my car. Within half an hour, Opi said he couldn't hang out (something I was highly looking forward to, despite the fact that I was supposed to hang out with Olivia), and I missed my first assignment for a class I was doing very well in. I think it may be impossible for me to even get an A- in that class anymore. What. The. FUCK?

With that shit out of the way, I had to go pick up Olivia from Al's apartment. I've been to Al's apartment before, but Olivia was driving, and it was dark. Driving around in the night and driving around in the day is a little different. So I had a general idea of where his apartment was, but I didn't know exactly where it was.

I texted Olivia, asking her if we were still hanging out. When I didn't receive an answer on my way down 94, I called her. She didn't reply as I was wandering around the streets of Ann Arbor. Eventually, I just gave up and planned on taking Jackson to home.

Unfortunately for my wallet, the movie theater popped up right on my way. I don't know where the urge came from, but I turned into the theater, walked in all alone, and then bought a ticket for Paranormal Activity 3. Okay, I didn't have a whole lot of choices, due to the fact that it was 3:40. I think I had two choices. Second, I knew that the movie didn't have a whole lot of hopes to it. But third, I was alone, I was rather pissed off, and I didn't care.

I ended up spending almost $20 there. But I don't really regret it. Sure, the movie sucked. It was awful. But I got to eat some popcorn, I got to take a picture of an empty theater room (two couples eventually showed up to view the movie with me), and Olivia did text me back. She explained that she was sleeping when I called and texted her.

After the movie, I figured out where Al's apartment was, picked her up, and then stopped at Linsey's house to pick up Olivia's purse or whatever. It didn't exactly turn out that way, though.

I left the car on as Olivia went in the house, and when she wasn't coming out quickly, I got confused. Whatever, though. I had my music, y'know?

Which really, I need to find new music ... which means finding that online friend again and actually listening to Kevin's music advice. Maybe give Last.fm another chance.

So, she and Linsey come outside a little while later, and Linsey opens my door and tells me I need to give her a hug. I've only met her once before, but I fucking love hugs. So I practically fall out of my car and give her a hug. And then she tells me that she needs to make ancient armor or whatever out of kitchenware. I don't even know what to think about it. She asks if I'll help. I immediately climb back into the car and turn it off.

At first we did absolutely nothing for the project. Linsey fed me buttered noodles, because that's been a huge part of my diet lately. I fucking love buttered noodles. I think if my parents go to bed sometime soon, I'll make myself a huge fucking pot of buttered noodles. Ohmydear. That's a brilliant idea.

After the buttered noodles, Taylor came over, we thought up of ideas, and then hit the dollar store. I went on a tangent and bought myself candy.

Oh, fuck! My candy! Good golly, where'd that go? Buttered noodles, wint-o-greens, and sprees. Who could ask for more? My Izze. Can't forget my Izze.

This is how I eat, folks.

Hey, there's a magnet on top of my Izze.

On our way back from the dollar store, we stopped at Olivia's house to pick up her plastic silverware, and then they dropped me off at work.

I practically promised Abbi that I would come in and visit her. I was hanging out with Linsey, Taylor, and Olivia, but Abbi is seriously the closest person to me. I fucking need her. We don't go two days without seeing each other, and there is absolutely no way I'm getting tired of her.

It's like a lesbian relationship, but, like, we're not lesbians. There's absolutely nothing sexual, except random jokes that I say (Kevin rubbed off on me, not to mention Wes and every-fucking-one else).

What the fuck is wrong with me tonight?

Sprees?

I walked in, Owen asked me, "What are you doing here?" I'm pretty sure I replied, but he asked me at least two other times. What? I can't stop in at work? What the fuck, dude? I had to ask if Abbi was still there, but once I found out she was, I immediately figured out that she was doing bread sticks. I, like, bounced down the hallway to meet her in the back. Bounced.

I helped her out. We talked. I put her bread sticks on the tray to improve her time, I rolled a couple bread sticks for her, I grabbed stickers for her when she ran out, I did a whole bunch. She kept yelling at me to stop working. I guess it's just habit. I do a lot for that place. I do a lot more than just my job. I do other peoples' jobs. For example ... this night.

Eventually I knew I needed to get back to Linsey's house before they worried or something. I thought it would be a short walk, but it turned out to be a little longer than I was expecting....

Oh, you know my greeting when I walked into Classic, though? Jake asked me, "Do you have my ten dollars yet?" I was like, dude, I've been carrying it around for a week and you haven't been at work, but I told him he'd have to give me a ten ... because I had a twenty and then nine dollars. That's pretty much all he said to me that night, too.

When I eventually did make it to Linsey's house again, I got to help wrap Linsey and Taylor up in tin foil. It was rather interesting. They were covered in duct tape and tin foil. And then I made them sashes and belts made out of forks and knives. It was wonderfully horrifying, our final results. Like, they looked like warriors. And Olivia was their damsel in distress. And Linsey killed Olivia, whom Taylor loved ... and oh dear. It was interesting. They had Wolverine claws. Because, seriously, WOLVERINE! Marvel is love, I tell you.

After we were finished, Linsey said she needed to get ready for bed, and we all left. I took Olivia home, my dad asked who my shadow was, because there were more footsteps that didn't belong to me, and that was the only family intervention. I just bring people home and they don't really even care. It's kinda cool, though. They're so lax about it.

Olivia and I talked until five in the morning. We started our Tumblr night blog, we updated each other with our guy problems, and we just caught up with our lives. It was nice. We raided our snack cupboard, ate too fucking much junk food, let Puddin run around my room, and snuggled with Daysie.

And then we slept in until three. I had to take Olivia home before I went to work, and then it was work time.

Work today was alright. Ben and I worked phones together for the first time in months, and I rather miss him in the phones. He knows what he's doing as well as I do. Galya still mixes up phone lines and stuff. She was keeping Jon straight in the back, though. I do not envy that position. Because Jon's the biggest idiot of us all.

Today he was "helping" me fold boxes, but he stood right in the middle of a busy-ass area. I just told him flat-out to move. I said it loudly, I said it forcefully. Ralph was more polite about it, but the fact still remains that Jon was in the way. He's just an idiot. That's all he does is get in the way. I guess Galya did most of everything in the back. I don't know why they pay Jon. It's not like he's helping us. We've never needed two people in the back before.

And Scott kind of flipped out on Jazmin today, too. I don't even know why. I guess maybe a customer called us back, or she wasn't cutting the pizzas "correctly." But he was going on and on about that. Ben and I were trying to figure out why it bugged him so much, but it wasn't working.

I don't know when Ben and I actually did start talking, though. Like, it's pretty much just about what needs to be done at work, and what's happening at work, but we never really acknowledged each other beyond "Would you get the phone, please?"

Ohmydear. Because I'm pathetic, before everyone else came in, Nate was helping a customer. I think I was cutting a pizza. I don't really know. Another customer came in behind the one Nate was helping, and I moved in to help him, but then the phone rang. I just looked at Nate. Just, like, froze. Then I asked, "Do you want to take the phone or help the customer?" He picked the phone, which I find rather interesting since usually taking care of the customers is the better part of the job, but it was cool. He helped a few other times as well. See, when Nate helps, it's like, oh, the lines on hold are gone. He's efficient about it. When Jake helps, it's like, you're in my way, you're talking really loud, you don't really know what you're doing it.

I dunno.

At some point I started helping up front. My prep was boxes, and I wasn't altogether too interested in getting them done. So I was helping top when Wes was doing something for Ralph in the back, just helping Erich out. And then it switched to helping Wes out. And then it was just me working up in the front. I don't know what happened there. But for at least an hour, I was helping Wes and Erich in the front, doing a hit-rack with Wes, and doing things up front. I think I was considered working up there.

Because Ben asked me if I would do bread sticks for him if he payed me $15. I was immediately like, sure. Then he tried bringing the price down to $10. What do you think I am, your bitch? Uh-uh, you said 15. When I accepted, he said he'd think about it.

So I kept helping up front. Once Ralph was done with the party subs, I asked Ben if I was doing bread sticks for him. He eventually handed over the $15, and then was pretty much on his way out the door.

It was 9:00 by the time Ben made his decision. I started gathering some things together, and Wes said that I needed to finish the hit rack before I could start bread sticks. What the hell? That wasn't even my job in the first place.

See what I mean, though? I do way more jobs than what is my actual job at Classic.

So I rolled bread sticks for an hour and fifteen minutes. It took me a while, because I kept stopping and going up front. I felt so fucking lonely. I only had ... sixteen or fifteen trays to do. Not a whole lot. Jake came back and mopped, and I told him that, and he said that I'd find someone. I was still young. That wasn't really the point, Jake.

He was back to his old usual Jake shenanigans tonight. Like, he kept yelling my name like he was angry, but he never was. He was just yelling my name to yell my name. He was being unusually chatty, and just ... the Jake I knew before I hated him. But, like before, he never really listened to me. He just whatever'd it away, and then left. Y'know, typical Jake.

I missed Abbi so bad. Like, she hadn't even been gone for a day, and I miss her. I've never been so attached to anyway before. I never have needed anyone as much as I need her. I don't know what I'll do without her, man. I just don't. I think I'll cease to function for a while. I lose myself. I don't know.

Bah.

I told Galya that I felt like she was kind of flirting with Nate, though. I've brought this up around Abbi and Olivia before. They both told me that I just need to tell her. Neither were very friendly about how I should approach her, though.

But despite what Matt said, I don't hate Galya. I just still feel kinda betrayed. Probably for silly reasons, since I don't even know what happened. I am not mean to those I don't hate. (Like today, I was snappy at Jake in the beginning, and I got quite a surprised and shocked reaction out of Nate due to my behavior towards Jake.) I'm nice to those that are nice to me. I like to be a social mirror. It's only fair, y'know?

I couldn't approach Galya all angry-like. I know she has a flirty personality, and I brought this up when I told her. She assured me that she was not flirting with Nate, and yadda yadda. She liked Zach. Well yes, I know this. Nate, I don't think, does. It's just, he gets so responsive around her. And I dunno ... I don't like that.

Nate shaved his hair into a mohawk again. When I learned this, I asked if he'd show me, and he was adamant against it. Except later that night, he just left his hat in his car and didn't wear it. Which meant that I could see his mohawk no problem. I dunno why, but it just fits him.

After I clocked out, I asked Wes why I wasn't being trained as a closing manager. He said, "I dunno, I'll ask Ralph." Then I re-thought it. I don't really want to be taught, because then Ralph will abuse it. I've already told him that I can't work as much as I do, and he still schedules me five days a week, as well as scheduling me earlier and earlier. It's actually kind of annoying me now. I can deal with it, sure, and I appreciate the money I get, but he won't listen to me.

Then I thought, while I was writing this journal, what if Wes taught me, and Ralph just didn't know. XD Good golly, that'd be funny. But I doubt it'd happen.

Wes told me after I clocked out, though, that I could go home. I asked him what if I didn't want to go home? Then he just told me, then you can go somewhere else, I don't care. I ended up staying at Classic a little longer, but when I couldn't get much conversation out of Wes or Opi, I did leave. And I drove around.

The fucking "check your fuel cap" light came on. The engine light finally turned off after a few months, and the low tire light is off, and then this fucking light came around. I checked the fuel cap. It's fine. I don't even.... This car isn't making sense to me!

And so yeah ... I guess I don't even want to add random tidbits of information from the past. I don't care right now.

SONG OF THE DAY: Promiscuous Girl ~ Nelly Furtado