I'm in a new section of my notebook for these journals again. This notebook is more for my journals than actual school things. Doesn't help that all my calc stuff goes in a binder.
Yeah, so I know I just got to school and everything, but may I go home? I'm tired of everything. I hate mornings, traffic, the cold, my classes, and I wish college was what it's chocked up to be. Because it's not. College is almost as bad as high school because you still have to take classes, but now you're paying for your frustration and eternal hate. I want to drop out of my German class so bad, you don't even know.
I'll attend class. But I won't be happy and I'll project that. I'll barely participate. And I certainly won't pay attention. I won't do his extra work. I won't pretend happy at all. I'm sick and tired of being there.
Anyway, I should probably back track to Friday, because that's more or less where I left off. Abbi didn't have school on Friday, since homecoming is so important, so she spent the night again. It was our plan all along.
I had a doctor's appointment at 11:45. Abbi and I somehow woke up before I set my alarm and had time to eat and gather shit together. Abbi had her senior pictures appointment at one. She loaded her trumpet, half of her marching band uniform, a couple changes of clothes, her softball stuff, and Typhoon into the car. I think my mom was confused when I didn't want her to come to the doctor's appointment with me (us).
On the way to my appointment, I stupidly turned down Parker like I was going to work instead of Wagner. Even following a large portion of dirt Liberty and getting caught behind a slow-moving dump trunk for the entire paved section of Liberty until I got to my doctor's office, I made it on time. When I talked to the secretary, she asked me if I was there to see Dr. Cook. I hesitated; that wasn't my doctor's name. She corrected herself and told me that she changed her name. Oh. Okay. That's news to me. She sent me and Abbi to the waiting room across the hall, which was weird. Apparently I forgot the receptionist's instructions because it took the new receptionist a minute to figure out why we were there. Once we had everything figured out, I don't think I waited long at all before the nurse or whatever they're called pulled me back into a room. She weighed me, took my vitals, and told me to put on a hospital robe for some reason. Not long after getting undressed, my doctor showed up. All she really did was talk to me and listen to my breathing and shit. I asked her about my anemia partially because my mom bugged me to and partially because I feel like I'm having issues with my head and dizziness and lethargy again, and she gave me a blood draw order. Her final instructions was for me to leave a urine sample to check for some STD or another, and I met up with Abbi again in the lobby. Fully dressed of course.
We got out of the doctor's office about quarter after noon. With plenty of time to spare, I went to the UofM blood draw office or whatever off Jackson and gave them my order. After a bit of a wait, a lady called me back. She was friendly as hell, but she sucked at drawing blood. My arm hurt the entire time. I've never had that before. Shit. My arm was sore for the next two days.
Still with time to kill, I went to the gas station and put $20 into Zip. Abbi-mom-Andrea gave me $50 for driving Abbi around. It was obviously never a problem, but my money struggles were terrifying this past week. Then we went to Abbi's pictures appointment with Mrs. Rittinger.
She wasn't yet set up and she kept apologizing for it. Abbi and I continuously reassured her that she was fine and helped her as we could.
Abbi really, really didn't want her picture taken. I mean, she usually doesn't. But Mrs. Rittinger and I tried our best to get her to relax, enjoy, and actually smile. I bounced around the room (and outside) and did as many silly things as I could to get a real smile out of her. She's so pretty.
Y'know, and sexy. I dunno what's up with me when she's in uniform. Doesn't help that she's so damn happy when she's got her softball stuff.
Before that, though, when Abbi was taking pictures with Typh, I climbed into a tree for some reason and Mrs. Rittinger took a few pictures of me. We found another tree, a weeping willow, and I helped Abbi up (I'm so glad we don't have any issues touching each other at all) onto a branch since there was a lack of footholds, and Mrs. Rittinger got some pictures from that. I was being too much of a nuisance - too distracting - so I turned and sat on the ground, trying to make a grass whistle for the first time since we cut that tree down in the front of the Redford house, i think. Long, long ago. I couldn't figure it out, by the way.
We helped put everything away before we left. At, like, three. I drove us home and we ate lunch. Not really sure what else we did till Abbi had to leave for band. Well. My mom called me outside as Abbi was finishing her homework to dismantle the pole "barn" tent frame inside the pen. Abbi came out and helped, too. All I was good for was brute strength. Abbi was finesse.
I helped a bit more - carrying metal posts across the yard - and ate dinner and stuff before I took my brothers to the game. I think I forgot how awful homecoming is. Even though I left early, it took forever to find a parking spot. Ben ran (Joe and I lightly jogged) almost all he way to the field, but we were still waiting in line for tickets when the band started playing. I can't say I was particularly happy about it.
I handed over a $20 for an $8 "bill," and the guy started counting out quarters. I stopped him and told him I might have ones. He was too happy when I handed over three for $15 back. At least I didn't get quarters.
We haphazardly found seats near the left 20/30 yard line, much to my displeasure, and Joe split off to find friends. I couldn't pay attention to the game at all. I mean, all we came for was the band. I'll have to bring Joe again to actually show him how the band marches, though.
Four minutes before halftime, someone spotted lightening and the football teams were immediately pulled off the field. The band, however, was given the okay to march. There was obviously outrage from half the crowd that stayed. I even joined in on the conversation. So the football team is precious enough to protect, but the band, with their brass instruments and metal flag poles and y'know - expensive metal instruments - was perfectly okay to play with lightening. We're fairly certain it was heat lightening, but still.
Halfway through their first song, the band was pulled off the field. Placated, the rest of us vacated the bleachers to take cover from the impending rain and storm.
I sheeped me and Ben to more or less follow the band and the small trickle of people heading in that direction. I ran into the Johnsons, but Alyssa and Jess as well. The band, unfortunately, was locked away. Although Bethany poked her head out and gave us updates every now and again.
Abbi texted me soon after we were all holed up inside and told me there was a delay. I replied sarcastically. I knew she didn't know I was there, but I found it funny.
Alyssa and I caught up. I found out about her crush and how he lives in Washington. Poor Alyssa. But she's so smitten with him.... I wanna help her. If she wants to be with someone, she deserves it. And he's flirting right back to her, too. It's so cute!
An hour after sitting around the building, we were finally given the all-clear. We waited a bit in the school as the band filtered out, and I wanted my Abbi so bad. But no. She went out the other door. Of course.
Alyssa and Jess ran into problems with Jess's medication as we were making it back to the field, so we stood around for a while trying to figure it all out as everyone reorganized on the field and in the bleachers. Everything finally under control, we found seats front-row at the 50 yard line. Halftime was boring as hell, but I goofed with Alyssa and watched my Abbi to pass time.
Having lost my brothers when looking for seats again, I kept an eye out for them as we waited for the band to file off the field. I was bouncing absolutely way too much. Not even my little on the balls of my feet bounce, but launching myself up in the air bounce. I was jumping in place. Once Abbi and the trumpet section got through, I tackled her in a happy, flying hug. Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of time with her.
Alyssa, Jess, and I soon went up to the bleachers where the band was organizing so that Alyssa could hang out with Bethany. She handed me her camera and asked me to take pictures. So I did. I don't think Bethany was so happy with me, but I don't care.
I got a text from Abbi as we made our goodbyes and I just turned around and shouted my reply.
My brothers found us when we got off the bleachers and all five of us made it to my car. Alyssa asked if I could take her and Jess home. Of course. With her and Jess home, I drove my brothers and me home.
Pizza for dinner. Yippee.
I worked on a unicorn picture (Dunalino) for Stephanie as I waited for Abbi to show up. For some reason, despite it being so late and the weather shitty, the band didn't get to leave at half time. Well, obviously, since they filtered back into the bleachers.
I don't remember what we really did. I wanna say we watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog that night. That sounds right. 'Cuz I don't think that was Saturday night. I often get my weekend nights mixed up. Even after we finished the mini-series or movie or whatever it is, we didn't go to bed. Naw. We did what we usually do. Kissing and touching and ending up shirtless.
I like sleeping like that. It's comfortable. Abbi's body is soft against mine, not to mention warm. I mean, when we're not sleeping and touching instead, I like it for other reasons, but when we settle down, the feeling isn't even sexual. It's comforting.
We woke up last Saturday morning because we could. We spent some time in the rabbit pen, cleaning food bowls, and some ore time searching for a rake and shovel. For some reason, Abbi really wanted to clean the pen while I was at work.
The two of us had half an hour to ourselves before I had to leave for work.
Saturday was my first ...
Wait a minute. No. No no no. Wrong.
Saturday I worked a double shift. Mother shitter.
Friday night was exactly what I described, but what I wrote for Saturday morning was all Sunday morning.
The real Saturday morning, I had to begin working the office at 8:30, which meant that I got to sleep in, but only by an hour and a half. I beat Jamie there by a few minutes, so I pretty much just sat around and di nothing. It was my first time in the office; I didn't know what to do.
I made some headway in the office. I built a file and checked out a person, but most of the time till three was spent watching Jamie, twiddling my thumbs.
I figured out not long after I made it to work that my Casey was back. Ashley, whom was working kennel alone that morning, confirmed that Casey had a playtime. I asked if she could leave Casey's for me when i worked that afternoon, along with all the other playtimes she couldn't finish. We pretty much had a full kennel. Unfortunately, right near the end of office hours, Casey's owner showed up. I had a big sad.
(And now I speak like Abbi.)
I had four or five more playtimes to do that Ashley couldn't finish. Although when I was letting the dogs out after office hours, Casper's owner showed up and caught my attention. She asked if she could bring Casper home. I wanted to let him go, but I couldn't; I don't know how. She was so disappointed. As her backup, she asked if I could give Casper another playtime that evening and Sunday morning. I only had three hours left and five dogs to walk, but I conceded. He was the first dog I walked.
Another dog, Mollie-Mae, was giving me issues. When I tried letting her out of her kennel, she growled and barked and lunged. I gave up on her.
I didn't get out of work until quarter after will all the dogs to let out and feed.
On the way home, I lifted my mood by singing (screaming?) along with my CD. When I made it home, I ate yummy dinner, worked a bit on Stephanie's unicorn, and dozed off until Abbi showed up from work.
I did get to eat during a little break. I scooted off to the University Aquarium to get crickets for Abbi's tarantulas and food for Galileo. I went to Taco Bell, and ate tacos at stop lights on the way back to work.
Even though I was exhausted by the time Abbi finished showering, we didn't go to bed. I turned out the lights and turned on the humidifier, but we didn't sleep.
To say we're much more comfortable with each other than even a month ago is an understatement. Abbi keeps telling me that she wants it as much as me, yet she's till uncomfortable with herself. I don't think I can stress to her how much that's alright with me. I want her so bad, to give myself to her, to pleasure her, but I need her to be ready. Her needs are so much more important to me. So much more important than sex. Our relationship and its foundation comes first. I can't lose this girl.
Y'know how I've always said I want my first to be my last? Well, if that's Abbi, I'm ecstatic. If, for whatever reason she doesn't want to, or ever again, I'm not ever going to hold animosity toward her. But she will be my only. With that I am sure.
I dunno what I'm saying. Words are failing me and I can't convey my meaning.
We stayed up very late Saturday night. I mean, oh dear. She's the only person to turn me on so. Y'know, or ever.
Even with Wesley, who's ever touched me in any way ... I never felt anything with him. I thought that's how my life would be, too. I'd just go through the motions.
I can't even begin to explain how happy Abbi makes me feel.
Yeah, so as I started to describe for the faux Saturday morning, we woke up late. And ate cinnamon rolls. I wanted cinnamon rolls, and there were cinnamon rolls.
Then all the rabbit stuff, a half hour, and work.
Work was actually kind of exciting. Within the first hour, two thirds of the dogs went home. I'm not kidding. I was constantly going back into the kennel, grabbing dogs' stuff, and fetching dogs. For an hour straight. Twenty or so dogs went home.
Jamie complimented me after the hour and told me that I just did the work of two people. Oh. Okay.
I did a couple playtimes before I realized the dogs probably had to go outside. Mollie Mae included. I told Jamie that we didn't get along and she told me Mollie lunged at her, but she'll be fine after I take her on a walk. I don't know how I got the leash around Mollie's head. Although she never attacked, just lunged short of me. As soon as I had the lead around her neck, she was fine. Now we get along. Without problem.
Jamie got half of the large dog kennels as I did the rest of the playtimes. She left around six when she was only supposed to work the morning.
Thing is, when i finally got to the small dogs' playtimes, it started storming. Three playtimes (Ranger, Jack, and Baxter), I was in the office with the dog on my lap (or just their head), on Tumblr.
After Jamie left, I cleaned all four of the crates and two half kennels. That's all I had time for. And I still left work ten minutes late.
I filled up Zippity's tire as soon as I got home. I let myself into the house, realized my family was out to eat, and made myself oatmeal for dinner. Halfway through dinner, I realized I should probably unlock the door for Abbi to come in, but she was in the kitchen after I left the entryway. Oh. I wasn't expecting that.
Seeing as it was Sunday night, Abbi couldn't spend the night, and had to leave at nine. I swear, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye to her.
Oh. I called Grandma Gordon during one of the walks and asked if I could bring up a friend. She told me I never needed to ask permission. I asked her whom would be up, and all she knew was that Kirk and my dad were coming up to hunt. No idea if Praema or the devil children will be up.
Still, I'm excited for Friday.
I reset my alarm to 7:10 when it went off at 6:45 and skipped breakfast. No part of me wanted to Monday.
Calculus was easy. We went through lecture and then took the second half of our test. I didn't know there was a second part of the test. And, of all the days to forget my binder, I forgot it yesterday. Not that it would have done a lot for me. The only thing I couldn't remember was the shape of the 3D object resulting from the given equation.
I dunno. After crying over AP Calculus and Calc II, Calc III is a breeze. I'm not complaining; Calc III is somehow my favorite class this semester.
I got out of calculus class around 9:30, which left me with a half hour more than I was planning. I kind of did nothing for a while and surfed Tumblr and shit, and eventually decided it was a good idea to cram for the chemistry quiz I had to take. It didn't take me long to look it all over and feel comfortable with the material. It was all simple equilibrium equations and nothing else.
I think I left for the testing center quarter to eleven and finished the test at 11:30. Quiz. Excuse me. It was about as easy as I was expecting, too. Almost identical to the quiz I took last semester. I got a really good feeling about this quiz, okay? I need the good grade, too.
Since I didn't have to work until two, I decided I could go home instead of hanging around campus like I was expecting. Although I didn't go straight home. I stopped at the bank, deposited my check, and filled up my tank. Even with gas at only $3.39 a gallon, it took me a few cents short of $50 to fill up my tank. I was three hundredths of a gallon off from 15 gallons. Or something like that.
Y'know, I finally deposited money into my savings account for the first time in forever. Only $60, but that's still better than nothing. Which left me with $250 in my checking account. I plan on spending $150 ($100 more to go) in gas these next two weeks, about $30 or $45 on rabbit food, and another $20 or so on fabric. I should still have some money left over for next paycheck so I don't feel so pressured ever again. So then I can put more money into my savings.
I did return home, take care of the rabbits, and do hardly anything after filling up Zippity's tank. And then it was off to work. I was in the office again. Once again, I feel like I barely did anything useful. I made so many mistakes, it's not even funny. Really embarrassing, actually.
On my way home from work, Mom called me and asked where I was. Well, it was quarter after seven; I'm returning home from work. She asked if I would pick up Joe from Mill Creek off of the bus. Apparently yesterday was "German Day" at EMU and Frau Schmidt had the middle schoolers and high schoolers go. Ew.
So I waited. And waited. And waited until about five after eight when the bus finally showed up. It took another long ass time for Joe to actually appear, and I took him home.
The two of us wolfed down our dinner because we were so hungry. I was tired, too, but I promised that I'd babysit Andrew. Andrew was over at our house still, so I walked him over and dealt with him until I sent him to bed, and talked with Conner when he returned from band festival. Which made me miss my Abbi even more, especially after not seeing her that day, but what could I do? I can't take her away from her house yet.
Pete and Amy showed up at around 10:30 or something. Amy gave me $25, which I'll be putting to the hair appointment I made for tomorrow, and I went home and almost immediately crashed. It took me longer to fall asleep than I wished, but I was still dead tired.
Jules woke me up at about five and I took everything away from her.
My alarm went off at 7:45, and I actually ate breakfast.
I left for school early because I could. Which is a good thing, because traffic was awful this morning. We were at a dead stop before Plymouth for a while, simply because people don't know how to merge. I still made it to school on time, grumpy as can be. Seriously, I had some major issues this morning. I was tired, I was freezing cold, the sun was attacking my eyes all morning, I wanted my Abbi, and there was no part of me that wanted to be at school. Especially German.
Well, I only paid half attention in physics class. I learned a thing or two, but not as much as I'm supposed to be learning. And we had a quiz and I had no idea how to find the acceleration of the object to fully answer the question. I could even tell you everything right now, I read over the question so many times.
So, you're trying to rearrange a room. A couch, specifically. Directly moved, you'd be moving through a coffee table and that's a really heavy coffee table. Heavier than that couch. So you move with couch with sharp angles instead, because that makes sense. You have to figure out the difference in work when you push the couch directly or with sharp angles.
m = 400.0 kg
dd = 2.5 m
df = (2.0 + 1.5) m = 3.5m
µk = .200
Find the difference between Wd and Wf.
So, I've got the coefficient of friction, which means the force of friction is involved.
Ff = µkN
Ff = µkmgcosθ
Now, we got to keep our eyes on the prize, too.
W = Fdcosθ
F = ma
W = madcosθ
See that? Acceleration. Multiplied to the distance. Which means it's acceleration in that direction, since acceleration is a vector.
And then:
F - Ff = ma
Here's where I'm confused. We're not given force anywhere. So substituting in what we know for force, we've got some crazy stuff going on.
ma - µkmgcosθ = ma
Mass can be cancelled out of everything.
a - µkgcosθ = a
That doesn't compute. There is nowhere else that we use the force of friction, though. Just in that equation.
I wrote that
Wd = madcosθ
Wd = 400.0*a*2.5*cos0
Wd = 1000a
Wf = madcosθ
Wf = 400.0*a*3.5*cos0
Wf = 1400a
Wf - Wd = 1400a - 1000a
W = 400a
I dunno. I still can't figure out the problem. I'm tired of dealing with subscripts and typing everything up, though. Subscripts are a bitch on here.
Yeah, so, I went to German class after I turned in my physics stuff and got something to drink, and continued writing this journal. I didn't really pay attention, but at the same time I did because we're going over Der Erlenkönig, and I absolutely love that poem. I started memorizing the fifth verse.
During the break, Herr Rossel and I talked. He's encouraging me to take the test to pass out of the class and talk to a councilor to get audited into the class rather than actually taking it. He told me that he underestimated my knowledge of the German language. I didn't expect him to be so nice, especially after the note he left on my quiz he handed back. I aced the quiz, but his note wasn't happy. I can't imagine why.
I did stay to the end of class, and got to work at quarter after three. I realized I had a voicemail, but since I walked into work, I couldn't listen to it.
I did up some more files, called people I was actually supposed to call, and shadowed Jamie. At one point, someone came in to wash their cat, and all hell broke loose. The cat doesn't like water. Who'da thunk? The lady started screaming, and Jamie sent me in to see what was happening. Well, the cat was flipping bitches. I was the one that had to hold the cat down and settle it down enough to let the lady untangle him from the harness Jamie set up. She was covered in deep scratches and was bleeding all over me, but holding the cat down was my job. Besides, as much as blood should concern me, it doesn't. And I mean, her blood was everywhere.
I got to spend, like, the next hour talking to her and cleaning her up and settling down the cat. She started crying right after we got the cat settled down enough for her to hold him, and I didn't know what to say. He's a damn cat for fuck's sake. I don't like cats.
But yeah. That was an adventure.
I also started checking someone out for grooming while Jamie was doing who knows what. I got somewhere, but Jamie had to walk me through it. She kind of showed up at the nick of time, too. 'Cuz I totally forgot how to do the whole invoice thing and stuff. I should remember for next time, though.
So I guess that's about it.
I watched Face Off with my mom when I got back home. Abbi showed up at 8:30ish. I'm kind of glad she didn't get the last text I sent her while she was at work. I dunno why, but it didn't send. Abbi stayed until 9:30 today and then left. I finished watching the episode of Face Off that was on, and then started working on this monster.
I don't wanna take a shower. It's late.
OH FUCKING DEAR.
I wrote a note in the margin and I'm glad I did because I forgot about it.
So. I love Halloween, right? It's the best day ever. Well, I also am on a perpetual search for finding something that will scare me, and while the only haunted house/haunted maze/haunted woods I went to was fun but not scary, I want to go to another haunted house. With Abbi, of course. I'm doing my damnest to convince her to go and not chicken out. But, just like last year, I'm willing to bet I'll play with the actors. I mean, I said "hello" to everyone that jumped out at us and said "boo." And hugged Satan. So yeah. I needed to write that.
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