Mornings

I got sick over the weekend. It was brilliant. Although it didn't feel that bad until Sunday night after Abbi and I picked up the rabbits from the Saline Fair. Abbi easily convinced me to call in sick - at almost midnight, so I left a voicemail - and then I went to bed. Abbi tried waking me up when she left Monday morning, and I was vaguely aware, but I wanted no part in moving. In fact, I doubt I moved more than eight times that day. A generous portion of the day - morning and afternoon - I spent drifting in and out of sleep on my bed. The rest of the day I spent upstairs on the blue chair. Mom's chair, that is. From, like, four to dinner time the TV wasn't even on. I just stared off into space or dozed.

Somehow, somewhen, I took care of the rabbits. I don't remember doing anything other than the fact I did it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it took me twice the time it should to feed and water them.

From dinner time (ish) to bed time, I watched Beachfront Bargains because that was what was on.

I woke up to my alarm clock at 8:15 Tuesday and immediately went upstairs to ask Mom if I could skip school. I dunno why I had to ask her. I'm in college and am paying for it in full by myself. After a hesitant okay, I went back downstairs and slept more.

A lot of Tuesday was spent lounging around the living room, too. Abbi briefly stopped by before she went to work for some oats as I took care of the rabbits. Again, I was moving much too slowly and I was tired, but I don't remember much else. I think I also played some Sims that day, but I don't know. I certainly went to bed before midnight.

I figured I needed to go to school on Wednesday. I only attended Calc class, but it was bad enough.

First off, I woke up fifteen minutes earlier so that I could eat breakfast. Hot oatmeal sounded like a good idea. And it was. Along with a cup of milk, it really helped soothe the itchiness and dryness in my throat. After breakfast, I got everything else done as I would usually get it done. I left the house the same time I had last week. I forgot to account for Dexter Schools traffic. Even a half hour before school starts, Island Lake and in town were backed up. I got a momentary reprieve along Baker until I returned to traffic full-force along 94 until I hit a traffic jam on 14. We went from about 70 to about 0 in, say, three seconds. I almost rear-ended the SUV in front of me. Then we continued at a crawl, maybe 10 miles per hour, all the way down the hill to the bridge.

A fuck-ass van decided to cut between me and the SUV Zippity nearly kissed by sticking their bumper practically in my wheel well. That is not how one merges. I laid on my horn at the bitch, but it didn't phase her. I nearly rear ended her about three times just because of stop-and-sometimes-go traffic.

In the last ten minutes or so, I barely made it to the Barton exit. Soon I decided I should get into the correct lane oodles earlier than I ever do, and correctly merged as I had space into the other lane. In the space between the Barton exit and where 14 splits off to merge with 23-S or exit into 23-N, one station wagon correctly merged before me. Then, on the ramp to merge with 23, a little Focus flew up the lane beside me to get as ahead as they could. Fucktards like that piss me off to no end. It is because of people like that traffic jams get so bad at merging sites. I tried to get as close as I could to the station wagon in front of me to keep the fucktard from getting over, but the Focus stuck his nose into my lane and forced his merge. Again, I laid on my horn.

I am a supporter of mass murder. Doesn't mean I'll do it myself. But more people need to die.

Traffic continued almost all the way down 23 until I got off at Geddes. I showed up to class ten minutes late, but Professor Quail failed to notice - not to mention he was still writing warm-up problems on the board.

Even later than I was, some idjit with a helmet and a mess that gravitated toward the front of the room found the only open spot to be next to me, and crawled across the table to get to the seat. As he set up his shit, he spread it out across my space and then asked me how long the professor had been lecturing.

Once the lecture was done and Professor Quail handed out homework (I swear I'm in high school yet), the dude continued to turn around every ten minutes to ask me a question. When I was two or three problems away from finishing, he asked me what I got for the second problem. Earlier, he asked me what I got for the first, there was a difference in our answers, and a half hour later he turned around to ask the guy behind us what he got - and later told me I was wrong. "Your A number 1 a is wrong, by the way." "I don't really care." I was exhausted because I couldn't sleep the night before, I was still sick, I was still pissed off from the morning drive, and he only ticked me off more.

As soon as I finished, I turned in my shit, turned in my safety contract to Professor Rader's mailbox a week late, and I left for home at ten o'clock.

Unlike what was planned, I couldn't go back to bed. I ended up playing Sims, building an impossible house, until quarter after three. And I left for Abbi's house.

Even after stopping at CJ's for orange juice (finally), I still made it to Abbi's house before her. I had just enough time to start filling up my tire. I'm to the point where it needs to be filled up every three days again.

We just hung out. Abbi finished up her homework. I snoozed. Abbi-mom-Andrea came home. She was being friendly again. I don't even understand. She was in Abbi's room with us a bit, going over syllabi because high school, and while Abbi was finishing homework. Not much later, Abbi wanted food so she searched about the kitchen. Abbi-mom-Andrea was doing dishes.

As Abbi was cooking her noodles for mac-and-cheese, a lot of teasing was going on. Abbi-mom-Andrea brought Abbi down to her knees, tickling her. More than a couple times Abbi sat on the floor in a corner and pouted. Which brought on more Abbi-mom-Andrea teasing.

Once the mac-and-cheese was done, Abbi and I retreated back to her room. We ate. I don't remember what else. We went our separate ways a little more than half an hour before Abbi had to go to band practice.

I tried to do my physics homework when I got home, but I took one long look at it and nope'd. I still don't understand how I'm supposed to do a lab ... at home. I really don't like it.

I should have done my online calculus homework, but I didn't. For the next two hours, most of it was spent watching Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. I finally found a video player that doesn't just quit for an hour ... or more.

Abbi and I started texting again when she got home. Somehow I finally put into words why I'm so tired of school. I felt slightly whiney, but the hopelessness also crept back. I need to go to school because my parents won't let me stop - probably even for just a little - and there's really no reason for me to not. But I don't want to learn. I'm tired. I'm defeated. I don't care. I'm without money. I'm cornered. But no. I just have to suck it up. Abbi's the only one that will listen. Everybody else will only tell.

I'm only a stupid teenager, after all. I don't know what's good for me.

This morning was slightly better than yesterday morning traffic-wise. It didn't get really bad up until the traffic circles on Geddes. We were backed up until a tenth of a mile before the exit. Someone almost rear-ended me today.

Physics class sucked. I spent over $60 on a book I'm not keeping. I'm in German now. Yay. Then off to work until girlfriend time.

Although, before German class, I talked to people! I figured out that I may need a German book eventually. I'm still hoping not. A German book and activity book are over $200. If I do need a German book, though, I'll look into getting that and only that via Amazon or something. I probably will do that as soon as I balance my checkbook and know how much money I have. If I have money.

And as far as this should be from mind, I also want to get OTEP and Avenged Sevenfold tickets for next month. I don't know about OTEP, but Avenged Sevenfold is selling out of $30 tickets - and soon $60 tickets. $60 is a bit pricey. But happy birthday to me? A week early.

I need to know when I get paid at the other job.

Oh - and snakes. We wanted a 1-2 year old possibly rescue Ball Python. If we ever want to get a snake. I'll be kicked out of my house before I can say a word if I bring one home now.