Too Clingy

I ate dinner with my family last night. I think I'm lucky if I do that once a month anymore. I'm either at work or I have something going on to miss it the two nights I have off. I don't know how I am that busy, I just am. It was a good dinner, too. Pork chops and potato dumplings and luscious. I got a little snappy at my mom when she asked for help, which I'm not too happy about now, but I did eventually BS my way through my government homework. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate government?

Ugh.

I updated my financial expenses for my rabbits, figured out how I can document buying and selling rabbits on the software and played with that for a while, and called the person that bought Puddin to tell them her due date. They didn't answer, so I left a message.

Then, since Mom, Dad, and Ben were gone for Ben's t-ball game, Joe and I went outside to rake through the spot where we're putting the pool. We had fun throwing rocks over the pole barn sheds and into the little strip of trees and brush. I have no idea how there are so many rocks in that patch of sand, but there are. It's more like a gravel spot than a sand spot. But still, we were having fun. And, since I can't throw, I was dying every time I threw a rock and it went in the completely wrong direction. Which happened often. Though I did find out that I can skip rocks across the top of the sheds and they'll fling up in the air and disappear. And the side of the shed can act as a sideways trampoline, and rocks can bounce off of those and zing right back in your direction.

Abbi pulled up again into our driveway, and while Joe and I were being loud already, I made sure to be extra shout-y and stuff so that she knew to meet us down in the back yard. Then she joined in on our fun. Throwing rocks and stuff. Except by that time my arm was starting to hurt a bit, and nearly every shot I took zinged off in the wrong direction, and I digressed to carrying the rocks to the side of the brush strip and lightly tossing handfuls in. Abbi and Joe decided to show off their baseball/softball skills and continue to throw the rocks perfectly into the trees.

Although, I didn't mind Abbi "showing off." Joe got a little excessive with his craziness, and he went from grabbing rocks and throwing them to showing off his "softball pitching skills" and tumbling skills and I really don't know how the kid wasn't pitch black by the end of the evening. But Abbi ... she wore a tank top, and I really don't know how to tell her without being creepy, but I like her body, too. I love her and her personality and snuggling up to her, and I like her body. She has a nice body. It's definitely not a stick body like my body, but she has a nice body. I'm pretty sure I mentioned it before in a journal or two, but I could just watch that girl and be content. I like her face, too, no matter how much she doesn't. She's fucking adorable, okay?

Eventually the three of us gave up, calling it good enough, and Joe and I tried to teach her Baby on the Roof. He fetched his football and we set up behind the chicken coop, where we've played it before, but I guess Joe and I are so used to playing it on Grandma's barn roof that we tossed it too hard nearly every single time and the football went flying over to the other side of the coop. I can still throw a good spiral, though, I found out. We never did teach her. Because then we discovered a hornet's nest under the roof, and Joe threw the ball at it and we ditched the area. And didn't go back. Decided we'd play Munchkins instead, but Abbi and I both forgot. A couple struggle-filled rounds in, we called it quits.

Abbi and I retreated to my room, Ben in tow for some reason, but he left quick enough. I showed Abbi the song I thought of to help her with her government project, took a real quick but necessary shower, and we snuggled down to watch season three of Supernatural. I have no idea how or when, but I fell asleep during the episode and didn't wake up until my laptop literally clicked off. I jumped awake. Abbi was already awaken after falling asleep as well, and I don't know how but we resituated ourselves and went back to bed. I woke up a few times, got up to pee once (I never pee at night), but nearly every time I woke up again, I'd put an arm around Abbi. I think.

It's funny. When we first started sleeping together, I was too afraid to touch her. Y'know, my side of the bed, her side of the bed. Hell, when I sleep with someone in my bed, I'm too afraid to roll over onto my side that faces them. Same with Abbi. But after a while, touching wasn't a problem, but I still refrained from doing it too often. Then, more recently, we did get snuggly, and now we don't know how to not touch, I swear. My single sized bed now comfortably fits both of us. I don't even know how.

I don't like sleeping alone anymore, guys. Guys. Who the hell is guys? People don't read my blog.

We both woke up around eleven. Which meant we got just over twelve hours of sleep. But we got all snuggly again, and then Abbi's alarm went off. I totally forgot she had the graduation thing to play at, since she's in band. I didn't want her to leave, man. Though to be fair, nor did she. We both kind of just laid and snuggled in my bed, and when she eventually did get up she moved so slowly. And then we decided to eat breakfast, so I finally got out of bed. Still, we both moved so slowly it's kind of sad.

I followed her down to her car and had to say goodbye.

I feel so fucking clingy, though. It's like, I don't want her to leave. Ever. And I know this is probably a bad thing because of the scale on which I feel it, but I don't want it to be wrong and I know Abbi reciprocates the feelings. Like, I used to think couples like this were silly and over-dramatic. I kind of really feel like a hypocrite because ... a lot of what we do I always thought was stupid. Except now I'm in the position in which what we do really matters a lot.

Once she left, I managed to get the pool out of the basement and in the middle of our yard, right next to where we're putting it. I spent a long time untying the knots that wrapped it up, unwrapped it, and started the unnecessarily long process of patching the holes. I'm not entirely sure that I did it right, but I hope it works. Because I found five holes, I think? And holes are bad when you're trying to hold in water.

Dad was working on fine-tooth combing the place where we're putting the pool - seriously - and eventually I retreated to inside to hang out online, eat lunch on top of breakfast, and hang out online again until I had to leave for work at four. Dad never did finish fixing the place where we're putting the pool. I wonder if he did yet so that I can put up the pool completely tomorrow and start filling it with water. That's the plan, after all. What a lonely job. Dad's going to be at work, Mom's going to be babysitting the two kids, Joe's going to be at school ... and so is Abbi.

Though there always is the open invitation for her to come over. And help. Hehe.

I should also make it a point to listen to at least two lectures tomorrow, if I wake up at a decent hour and have time to myself. Yeah, right.

It was kind of slow at work. Justin and Von showed up way earlier than they needed to, but I was fine with Von showing up early since I didn't have to make a sub when he was there. Owen was also scheduled to work, and I didn't learn that he put his two weeks in until he was about twenty minutes late. We were kind of on a wild goose chase while we were one Owen short, though. I guess his phone is broken, so we couldn't call him. Jake drove by his apartment to see if he was there, but he called up with nada. We just kind of waited until Owen called us over an hour later, apologized, and then showed up.

Yeah. Owen put in his two weeks. Which leaves Bernie, Jake, and Nate as my original crew, and that's it. Jake said he's probably going to quit sometime in August, and Bernie said he doesn't think he's lasting much longer, either. And Nate ... I don't give a fuck. He'll probably last there forever, the way he's going.

At some point, Abbi drove by the shop, and I just paused from making the pizza I was working on. Just ... stopped. I know I thought "my Abbi," but I don't know if I said it out loud, too. I just kind of stared after her car, looked away briefly when I think Von asked something of me, and continued staring out the window for a while. I missed her turning onto Mast, but I hoped to see her car again. It's silly. Like that's going to do anything.

Numerous times throughout the night I wished I was with Abbi. But I settled with texting her. All day.

At one point, I think I asked Kayla something - and I really don't remember what. But it involved relationships, though I don't know why I was asking anything of the sorts. Von sort of picked up the conversation when I went in the back and asked if I was in one. Or something. I don't remember jack anymore. But I thought he asked if I was in a relationship with Abbi, I replied affirmatively, and then he asked with whom and I just left back to the front in confusion. Later, I was texting Abbi, he asked whom I was texting, I replied with Abbi, and he told me he thought it was my boyfriend. Boyfriend? I never said anything about boyfriend.

Justin asked who I was texting later that night, too, and I had to explain to him who Abbi was. He really is dumb as a box of rocks. Kayla was about ready to throttle him, I swear. Can't blame her. He's also bigheaded and cocky, and that just annoys me. He was listening to one song on his phone tonight, and he's another country folk. Which probably means country on Sundays and whatever ship Opie listens to on Mondays. Talk on Saturdays and Tuesdays. Why no one listen to what I listen to? Because it's weird as shit half the time.

I mean, country ain't bad, I just don't much care for it.

Ended up with sixty-six hours and fifty-three minutes this paycheck. Which means a lot of money for me. Mmm. :)

Y'know, I was texting Abbi almost continuously up until half an hour ago. A bit after one.

I don't want to sleep alone tonight. Or any night. I feel pathetic saying this, but I can't stop feeling it.

I don't know where this came from, but I didn't know where to put it, so I'll put it here. I change clothes often, right? Well, that includes when Abbi's around. I've gotten into the habit of not leaving the room when I change. For one, I'm not afraid of my body and I don't really care if people see me in my bra. Underwear, for some reason, I'm a little shier about. I don't wear thongs or anything. Friday night I was in my bra for quite a while and Mom gave me a funny look and asked me why the hell I was doing it. I ran out of pajama shirts, I told her. Well, I don't sleep in my bra, either, and last night after I took a shower I had to change from my bath robe to my pajama shirt after I finally got it from the laundry, but I wasn't about to leave the room. That's silly. But ... I don't care if Abbi sees me ... naked. My boobs. I kind of really don't. But at the same time, it kind of freaks me out and I don't know how uncomfortable she'd be about it. For some reason, boobs don't freak me out. It's a bare butt and that area that I'm modest about. Not boobs.

Yeah, so that's there. I mean, Abbi and I can talk about a lot, but some things I feel awkward to say, and I'm willing to write. Some things are too awkward for both, but I end up writing it anyway.

So now I guess I'll pop popcorn and watch the movie Wes gave me today. Figure out what I'm doing all week tomorrow.

Well. Tomorrow. Put up pool. Work.

Tuesday. Work on hutch? Work.

Wednesday. Geek day with Alyssa only. Dollhouse season two. No one else is there. Otherwise I'd get my Abbi. Except she works, so that kind of fails already.

Thursday. Work. Maybe homework. Work again.

Friday. Dentist. Hopefully have time for my idea of which I will not write out. Work. Maybe go swimming with Abbi after work.

Saturday. Wedding. Night with Abbi.

Sunday. Morning with Abbi. Work.

Monday and Tuesday I should have work - and then road trip! Which means ... eight more days until the road trip. Oh jeez.

SONG OF THE DAY: