Bethany: PDA is NOT ok. Even is lesbian relationships. I told you that and you said the blanket was for your face, but that's not true. Either PDA or lie to me, but DON'T do both.
Me: (a couple hours later) Don't EVER accuse me of being a liar. I do not appreciate being called what I strive to not be. And if you have problems with hand holding - you're not much better from stories I've heard. You don't like lesbian relationships - I understand that - but do not push us around. Hand holding is NOT gross.
Bethany: If you're not a liar, then what ARE you for telling me what you did? Blatantly concealing IS lying. And as for hand holding, it is not the context of your group that makes PDA not ok? People in our group - at LEAST four of us - aren't comfortable with that. Not in that context. And no, I wasn't better, I was much worse, and i accept that as a stupid, idiotic mistake. You don't have to convince me that I'm a worthless failure, because don't worry, I already know. But I not only learned from being a full-blown idiot and lived consequences for it, but I'm also not being an idiot NOW. Thus your point is irrelevant.
Me: No, my point still stands, but my example is irrelevant. I'm not saying you're a failure. What I said was truth. It was not concealing. That is not what *I* meant with the blanket. I do not wish to say more. I'm angry. I can't afford to randomly get violent right now, because that's what I do. I really highly doubt anyone but you had problems with touching nonsexually. Leave. Her. Alone. For. Who. She. Is.
Bethany: Yes, I'm an idiot. I'm loose, I'm a bitch, I'm a whore. Whatever you want to call me. I deserve to never have another boyfriend, I deserve to be hit, I deserve to die. Trust me, I've heard it all. Mostly from a certain boy before he called me those things and told me those things and hit me. I KNOW. My situation is irrelevant though. It's not about me being stupid. That's not the issue at hand right now, and honestly, I had kind of hoped that wouldn't be the issue at hand EVER again. Funny how being verbally and physically abused for 10 months does that to you. So will you please just drop that?
Me: I did. I'm honestly sorry that happened to you and you sincerely feel that way - cuz you shouldn't.It was a bad, bad example. I'm just sticking up for me and Abbi.
Bethany: I'm not going to reply. Not to that, not now. Anything I say would be spur of the moment and stupid and i would regret it because it wouldn't be loving. I love Abbi and I love you, and I will never ever stop no matter what decisions you make. Don't confuse my disagreement with what you do for a condemnation of you as individuals. I can love you without loving every choice you make. I'm sorry that I upset you. I don't retract my feelings, but I'm sorry I lashed out, and I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire of my own selfish idiocy. I hope that, as much as you understandably loathe my actions, you can still love me as a person. I'm sorry. And yes, you did drop it. I sent that text before I got your others. I take back my accusations and apologize for my rash, rude, and jolting reaction to your innocent reasoning.
Me: Thank-you ... just reaching an understanding. I appreciate it. A lot.
Bethany: I do love you guys, no matter what you do. You could go murder someone and I'd still love you. I wouldn't condone your decisions, nor would I be comfortable with them - just as I'm not with this - but it won't stop me from caring about you. Your actions will never define you. Perhaps to the world; not to me.
Um ... reading through it again and writing it all down, I kind of just realized how hypocritical and back-stepping she was. But whatever. It's over and done with and I made my "peace" with her. I was so done. I mean, I threw my phone across the room.
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