Too Soon

I think I'm sick again. I'm almost halfway done with a jug of orange juice I just bought not even an hour ago. I don't drink orange juice unless I'm sick. Not to mention the lethargy. You know how much I hate being sick? At least it's not bad ... yet. Usually when I get sick it's debilitating. This is just annoying. Like, I'm not quite myself, but I can still function on higher levels. I kept complaining about it at work today. I'm surprised Erich or Nate didn't tell me to shut the fuck up. Especially Erich, because I kept complaining to him. Nate was just always there.

Anyway, I left off on Friday. Which means I have a whole weekend to talk about.

Work was okay. I mean, it was work. I worked cut table again, which is becoming a permanent thing for Fridays. I think I jumped for joy when I found out, even though this has been the case for the past few Fridays that I've worked. Ralph knows I'm good at it, though. I think I misboxed one thing, but it was early on and the delivery drivers had 15 minutes on the board when they were taking deliveries instead of the usual 50 or whatever, so we just called Matt up, told him, and we fixed it. Ralph wasn't even mad at me. I was the box bitch, too, so the hardest part of the night was the cleaning program for cut table. I kind of half-assed my way through cleaning the drivers bags, and I was out relatively early.

So, since I knew my parents left while I was at work, I texted Wes and asked him if he'd like to come over and go snowmobiling and maybe watch a movie afterwards. I asked Olivia first while I was at work, but I had forgotten that she was up north snowboarding for the weekend.

Now, I'm not going to go into details about this night. Because if I read this, the memory will be enough. Seriously, that memory will be there as much as prom night with Dishman.

The snowmobiling thing didn't work out so well. We got dressed for outdoors and tried to start up the snowmobile and it just wouldn't start up. The light kept flickering every time we pulled the cord, but it wouldn't catch. After a while, we smelled the gas, but I don't know what was wrong. It's been a while since I used the snowmobile, and two years ago was the only year I was strong enough to start it. Last year there wasn't enough snow to get the snowmobile out.

Once we gave up on that, we retreated to the living room and watched Serenity. We snuggled throughout the whole movie, so he probably felt me tense up before every part that got to me. Like, oh, I dunno, the part where Wash died.

Okay, snuggling is one thing. Later that night, he told me he loved me. And then he spent the night.

I was freaking out all day Saturday at work, and I wasn't able to tell Abbi about it until later that night. I started telling her the story when Owen and Ben were still around, and I finished the story off and freaked out about it for the rest of the night around Jake. And Jake's having his own issues with Cici still, so I better not hear any complaining from him about this. But seriously.

Something has always been off about the way I felt about Wes. I think it's because he's heavy on the compliments, and after Friday night I learned he very much liked physical closeness as well. Those two things ... aren't me. I don't like compliments very much, unless it's about my art. My stories. About me? Nah. I don't need that shit. And to hear him say "I love you" to me? That's too far, too fast.

He still has my Firefly DVDs, and I need those back. And I need to tell him - in person, mind you - that I don't really think we can be together. A lot of things changed for me, as in were brought to the light, on Friday night. It isn't working for me.

This also shows me that I probably have commitment issues when it comes to people as well. I always knew it about projects, so I always wondered if it pertained to relationships. I do believe so. I'm just glad this hasn't pushed Abbi away. Though there have been times where I still just needed some time alone. But that's normal for everyone.

So this is why I don't get into relationships. I guess I'm a typical Libra. The idea of love is better than actually finding love. Although I've found out that makes a very lonely person. I don't want to go back to feeling lonely. Because that was kind of awful as well.

Besides Saturday morning, Saturday was rather nice. I got to work and it was just me, Wes, Nate, and John. At one point, though I totally forget what we were talking about or what I said, but Nate just turned around and gave me the sassiest face I've ever seen from him. I told him that, too. Nate wasn't let go until a lot later, about the time when Mrs. Earle called. Because Nate had just given Wes the money when Wes realized that I should probably take a double to Loch Alpine and Nate asked if he could take it off the clock. To which Wes replied, no, and gave me the delivery, saying he'd stay later until I got back. Because I was closing. So I took that delivery, following Wes Loch Alpine almost completely to the end, and then ended up on Huron River Drive. I was confused as hell, but followed that to North Delhi and found my way back into Loch Alpine to delivery to Mrs. Earle. I made about ten dollars overall. That's good for me.

Abbi stayed with me later than Jake that night. John's car was acting up, so him and Jake switched the days they were closing. When Jake came back from a delivery and saw everything John didn't do, he flipped bitches. Seriously, he was ranting to me about what John didn't do for about an hour. At one point, I was scraping his trays, and I found a dime, and I just asked him if he'd like his dime. He said he did. And then told me to put it in his pocket. So I put a dime in Jake's pocket. It was awkward as all get out, but he did get his dime. And he kind of shut up after that, too. A fucking dime made Jake shut up. I should do that more often. XD

About ten after eleven, Jake had everything done and was out the door. I was there a little later, counting money, until Abbi and I left the building. I took her home and I transferred a bunch of music onto my flash drive and gave that to her. About midnight, my family came home from Grandma's, and about two in the morning, I took Abbi home. We said a long goodbye on her driveway, as well as talked some more, and then I had to go. I backed all the way down her driveway, but not very well. A couple times I slipped off the driveway and I almost ran into a tree when I couldn't straighten out the car well enough at the end of the driveway. I was only a couple inches off, but still.

I took the long way home, taking North Territorial to Dexter Townhall to Island Lake to Dancer. So when I walked in the door, my dad asked if I had gotten lost. No. I just like to drive.

I simply worked on a HorseArtRPG website after that. I got the HTML and CSS fixed to where I think it looks presentable, and then I went to bed way too late. Sunday morning I got up and fixed the PHP coding to work with a new MySQL database for this new website. It's working rather well. I still need to touch up on the CSS for the headings and the PHP inserts. As well as find out where to put a home button before I make to many pages. And figure out a better way to add the copyright date, because I'm not changing a couple dozen pages every year. Then, once that's all done, I need to make more pages and look up ASP for password-protected pages as well as search and category thingies for the separate databases. I wonder if I can get this website done this time.

Even though Nate had told me he'd "see me tomorrow" Saturday night, he was already gone when I walked in at four on Sunday afternoon. When I looked at his hours while I was counting money, I saw that he had left about ... I forget if it was two or three o'clock. It had to have been two, which is when John came in. I was kind of disappointed, to say the least. I mean, Nate always asks when I work next and says he'll see me then. Well, now he does. Either he does it or I do.

Sunday was a slow night. It started off with me and Wes up front, working through a half rush (since we caught up with it in, like, half an hour), while Owen was in the back teaching New New the ropes. Driver John was on the road, as was Jake. And Jake had convinced John to give him $15 to close for him tonight as well. So I closed with Jake two nights in a row.

I let everyone go maybe about eight o'clock. But in the time after that, I think I may have gotten one order, but even that might be a lie. Jake, near nine o'clock, kept talking about how he really wouldn't mind a delivery since he was already caught up with dishes. He never got his delivery. I had everything clean for a long time and I never had to reclean it. At one point, Jake drove off to Milligan's because he forgot to put something away, and when he came back he motioned to me and told me to come sit in his car with him. So we sat in his car and chatted for a bit until he thought he heard a phone. I climbed out of the car, listened, but couldn't hear anything. He swore he heard a phone, though. Not even a minute later, his phone rang. The phone ringing was Ralph. Jake lied to him and told him that I was in the bathroom and he had stepped outside to take care of the trash, and Ralph only told Jake that someone needed to be up front at all times.

Ten o'clock even, I counted my money twice and ended up counting it wrong both times. So Jake just told me to step aside and he told me the "right" way to count money. Which really isn't that different from the way I do it. Like, at all. He kept going on about how Erich does it completely weird (which he does) and how Wes's way is "retarded." I'll still count money the way I do it, though. I just don't know what was going on that night. Once we figured it all out, we ended up almost $5 over, and I quickly went over the checklist that I didn't go over while Jake was gone. As soon as I shut the door behind me, the alarm set, Jake said he forgot to put his car top sign back into the shop. I just told him to put it in the back of my car since I was working Monday, so I drove around with that all day today. Joe asked me why it was in there so I gave him a quick recap of the story.

I went to bed relatively early last night. I made myself a bowl of Lucky Charms before I made popcorn, just because that sounded good, and I watched an episode of Doctor Who. Puddin kept waking me up in the middle of the night, and apparently I woke my mom up when I was screaming at her at one point. Oops. I was pissed off, okay?

I slept in way too long today, but I didn't care. I didn't want to get up at all. When I did, my mom came down and asked if I'd rather pick up Joe from school since he was staying after or watch all the kids. I opted for picking up Joe. Which is when he asked about the car top sign.

Ohmydear, you know what I didn't talk about at all yet? Friday night, after Jake and I departed, I took the long way home. Which is just Lima Center to Beech to Dancer. Well, that first major curve on Dancer, I was going about 15-20 miles per hour when I couldn't correct the steering. I guess I overcompensated the first time, because I started fishtailing. But it was in slow motion because I didn't have momentum to begin with. I just concentrated on my hands at first, but once I realized I could never fix myself, I just gently applied the breaks until I ended up in the shallow ditch. Because I gave up. I tried backing out, but the tires just spun. So I tried turning around and climbing out of the ditch that way. My car doesn't handle hills well to begin with. Add snow and ice? Hell no. Eventually I called up my dad, but he wouldn't answer. I was about a third of the way home when I got his call back. So I told him that I was stuck and I needed his help. So I ran back to the car, slipping the entire way back. The road was pure ice. Pure ice.

Oh jeez. Pure. Sunday, Owen and Ben were saying "pure" over and over and over again. Ben kept saying it like "pier." Owen continued to correct him. They kept turning to me and asking me how to say it, but there was no way I could say it after "pier" and "pure" were thrown about. Though I say it now and I do say it correctly.

My dad ended up pushing my car while I put on the gas in reverse. I drove the car home without any further problems.

Today, I'm glad I didn't have to go in until 5. Because I was so tired today, and unlike Sunday, food didn't cure my tiredness. Which is why I complained about being sick all day. Because it's not bad, it's just annoying.

Erich had me stay until five minutes before close. I had to help him with hit racks. Again. And only after we finished hit racks did I have time to do my cleaning. During the last hit rack, Erich got distracted with arguing with Nate about music, so that made them go by even slower. Nate's been listening to a lot of metal lately, which new metal is something Erich doesn't like at all.

Erich also put in his two weeks today. So I'll be taking over his shifts. Ralph talked to me about that, since he remembered out conversation about this semester of school. That means I'm guaranteed to close with Nate at least once a week. I'm pretty sure I have closed with Nate once a week since I started managing, but I've only been scheduled to close with him once. I like closing with Nate. Then again ... the reasons aren't that hard to realize.

Did I ever mention that I found out that not only does Nate know how to drum in a drum line, but he knows how to drum with a drum set ("I'm not as good as Kevin, though.") as well as play a mean guitar? Fuck, man. Stop being attractive!

Speaking of Kevin. He came in Sunday and ordered a pan pizza or two under the name "Buttersnips." Which, he kept saying, is a Periphery song. Once Wes hung up the phone, he turned to us and said "This guy said his name is Buttersnips." We had a good laugh about that. Once Kevin walked in, we figured it out. Wes was talking to him and laughed some more. Apparently Opi was laughing his ass off in the background. Nate mentioned it today, how hard he was laughing.

Y'know, Ben was playing some dubstep today and almost everything he brought up I already knew. I didn't know I knew so much dubstep. But he was playing a UKF dubstep tutorial but Dubba Johnny and at one point Nate walked in and started dancing to it. I laughed a little too hard. I dunno why he was dancing along to it, especially since he insists he doesn't like dubstep, but he could actually dance to it. I didn't think it was possible to dance along to dubstep. He was also dancing along to some of the music he brought up on his phone once it was just me, him, and Erich. He's being very outgoing ... for him ... lately.

He was also wearing a Classic Pizza shirt today. Which he doesn't do that often at all. He was talking with Erich about how he apparently doesn't sag and how the only reason we could see his underwear was because his shirt was too small. Well, you're wrong Op. Though the shirt was tight across his torso.... But I can't allow myself to think these things.

Which, there was a girl that walked in and got an order, and after she left I said something and Erich asked me if it was about how cute that girl was that walked in. Um ... I laughed at him, but he was right. I don't think he knew that he was right, though. Because it's been a while since I looked at a girl like that.

I went to Meijer to pick some things up, and when I came home there was no one up. I got something from the ARBA, though. Puddin's finally registered. I still can't wait to get rid of her, though. I want a broken lynx buck with good conformation, and she's gone.

Anyway, that's about all I need to say. I kind of want to go to bed early again. My plans for tomorrow include watching the three Bourne movies, doing some artwork, and that's it. Nothing more. If someone calls from work and asks me to cover for them, I will not. Tomorrow is my day for relaxation only. I just worked four days in a row where I worked 8 hours, and then one day where I worked 5.

SONG OF THE DAY: A Brief Introduction to Dubstep Production ~ Dubba Jonny