My Chemistry class bores me out of my mind. It doesn't challenge me, but her tests are so nit-picky that I can miss writing a letter or something silly and lose points. Not point. Plural points. My tests are the only reason I don't have an A in the class.(And now we continue that train of thought at a much later date.)
I'm doing better than high school, though. I'm fairly certain that I have nothing less than a B+ in any of my classes. I'm working on getting my Psychology grade up to an A before she drops my lowest grades. I made a mistake in not taking one multiple choice test - completely by accident - and that completely ruined everything. I would have an A+ in my Composition class if I could have written that last essay well. I have 100 in everything but that essay. I have no idea what my Calculus grade looks like. And that's it.
I did really well in Calc until now. I aced everything. It's mostly because I saw everything before, and now I haven't. Another thing is that we're getting into Trigonometry and Trigonometry and Geometry are my worst enemies in math. So we took a test on Monday. I got through it, decided not to do the extra credit, and I had a terrible feeling about it. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, though. I got the test back yesterday and got 50%. Only the second test I've ever failed. Yet it didn't phase me at all. I barely cared at all. That's ... not a good thing.
I made a new friend out of Furious, though. He's been sitting next to me in class every day and talking to me. Yesterday I just started writing down the digits of pi until, like, the 18th place and he asked if I'd marry him. When we were leaving the class, he asked me if I had a Facebook so he could find me and also reminded me his proposal of marriage still stood. He is a math major, but still. All I did was write down pi. Because Calculus ticks me off right now. I can't wait to be done with math. It was nice when I knew everything but now I don't. Except I do. I dunno.
Furious is cool, though.
Y'know, I responded to one of those men seeking women ads on Craigslist a couple of days ago. Apparently I'm lonely ... or maybe it was because of how Nate reacted. Whatever. I don't want to look at reasons. They'll probably scare me. He didn't respond to me last time I checked my email, though. Ah well.
So, um, speaking of Nate, though. I walked into work on Tuesday and someone mentioned that Nate was covering for Owen because Owen's car is in the shop. I immediately froze. I wasn't supposed to work with him until Friday, in which case I'll be busy enough to very easily avoid him.
Except Nate didn't come in. Six rolled around and he hadn't yet showed up. I gave Erich his number to call him, but Nate didn't answer.
Eventually, I pressed Erich that something needed to happen. We were already short-handed by one person inside, and then without Nate we were yet another person short. I forget who it was - I think it was Matt - but Matt took a delivery and decided to leave another one behind, even though I feel like they could have been doubled. Whatever. When Nate didn't come in, the time on the delivery was slowly creeping up to a time that should never have happened. So I told Erich that if Nate didn't come in, that delivery needed to go out.
Erich gave the delivery to me. We were talking to a customer about where this road was, she actually told us where it was, and I took it. I didn't put on a car-top sign, I'm actually afraid that one of my parents would see me driving around with that, and since they don't know I've taken deliveries, I really don't want to put that car-top sign on. It was to a road off of Wylie, too. I got a decent tip.
When I took it, though, it was a credit card receipt. Erich almost gave me a wrap, until I told him that. I totally forgot about a pen. I don't have a pen in my car and I don't know why. So I had to give the person a pencil. It was all I had! I thought it was rather humorous, though not really.
Nate did show up, though not till after seven. He took one delivery that night. We probably would have done well without him, but I was already doing two preps and I didn't really want to do Nate's as well. I think I did bread sticks, the front make line, and I would have had to clean the back if Nate didn't come along. I don't know why I'm the only one that'll do multiple preps.
The whole day, Nate barely acknowledged that I was there. He wouldn't go into a room that I was already in, and he often left when I went into a room that he was already occupying. He kept his back turned, he wouldn't look at me, and he said a total of three words to me that whole night. "Go ahead," and "No." Go ahead because I was waiting for people to get out of the way to put bread sticks into the walk-in, and Nate was one of those people. No because I asked him if he received my text telling him we needed him to come in. I also called him from my cell phone, too, and he didn't answer. He did end up calling the shop, and I answered, but he talked to Erich.
By the end of the night, I was getting fed up with the way he was acting towards me. When I finished the front prep, I went outside where Opi, Matt, and Erich were talking, and asked if I was good to go. Someone commented that I sounded angry and someone confirmed that I was angry. I don't know who it was, actually. Not Nate, but either Matt or Erich. Erich followed me inside when I went to clock out and actually asked me if I was mad at him. No! Not at all! I assured him that wasn't the case, but I didn't tell him why.
Matt and I had a conversation earlier that day about Monday night. I drove around for four hours, after all. I left work about 10:30 and didn't get him until quarter after two. I got lost after Mason, ended up in Charlotte, and it took a while to get home after that. When Matt asked for a reason behind getting lost, I told him it was too personal. Sure, it involved Galya and Nate - my workmates - but it was too personal to discuss with our resident loudmouth.
Wednesday was more or less a typical Wednesday. I was talking with Abbi, telling her I'd stop by at work if I got out of class early, but eventually decided that wouldn't happen. I got to work about quarter after nine. When I walked in, I heard Nate say, "Apparently she drove around for four hours." I immediately knew who he was talking about. Who else? I confirmed it. I said, "Yes, yes I did," and didn't look at Nate for the rest of the time I was there. I didn't even look at him.
I asked Wes if Abbi was still there. I knew she wouldn't be, but it was worth a try at least. She is my best friend. I have her and Olivia, though lately Olivia and I haven't been talking much. Not for any particular reason. We're still good friends. When Wes said no, I didn't know what else to do. I just drove to work, got pissed off at Opi again (mostly due to his tone of voice), and ... so I asked Wes if they would like me to come in Halloween between classes. He said he'd talk to Ralph about it. We chatted about a couple other things, but they weren't important. I was at the shop for probably a total of ten minutes. Maybe fifteen.
Thursday I learned that Nate was covering for Owen again. Honestly, I got angry. I muttered and swore under my breath and my mood was not happy. I don't usually see Nate during the week except for Monday. Fridays aren't part of the week anymore. And because of what I told him and his response, I didn't want to be around him. I didn't like the way he was ignoring me. That hurt me.
But, Thursday turned out to be a rather good day. Nate and I talked, we chatted, we smiled, we laughed. Galya was there, so I told her that I needed to talk to her. I didn't get a lot of talking in, because every time I started getting heated, someone came around. A lot of the times, it was Opi. I certainly couldn't talk about how I felt about how she set me up for that around him. He ... didn't need to know the behind-the-scenes. Not yet, at least. Eventually she told me it wasn't her that set me up, but Abbi.
I still feel most hurt because of her. Not Abbi. Abbi's one of the closest people to me, and I certainly can't push her away now. We need each other. So ... Galya got shunted aside. I won't ever trust her with what I feel again. We'll still talk and joke and whatnot at work, but she won't be my close friend. I thought our relationship was heading in that direction once, but, well, this happened.
I did tubs of sauce that night. I had to keep waiting for Galya to get her prep done, and Nate was waiting for us both to be finished, so we were there a while. When I finally did get to opening the cans, um, I'm a little forceful. If I'm not, the cans don't open correctly. I dunno. Maybe I was overdoing it.
Nate commented though, saying that I have anger issues. No, really? I've kept everything bottled inside for years, Classic Pizza finally had me open up, because more extroverted than I actually am (people still exhaust me), as well as more loud. Well, not everything's happy. I'm a violent person, always have been extremely motion-centered, and that was exemplified as well. There's a reason Jake things I'll become a serial killer. I told Nate that I don't usually take it out on people, though. Just inanimate objects. I don't think he believed me.
He was talking to me, though. The conversations were easy.
I totally forget Friday, though. I honestly do not know what happened at all.
Saturday, however, I remember very well.
Jessica, Dylan (Amy), Julie, Laura, and I all went to the Bone Yard in Stockbridge on Saturday. I requested the day off because I really wanted to specifically go there. Jessica went up to MSU with Dylan earlier that day to pick up Julie. Jessica said she'd be home about eight o'clock, but I ended up getting at her house at nine. Laura made us even later.
I was getting antsy. I was super excited, because I've never been to a haunted house before, and I thoroughly expected to be scared shitless.
Well, that didn't happen. They made me walk in the front because they were all scared out of their minds even before entering. Laura held on to the back of my coat the whole way. I was glad she did, though. I couldn't really tell if they were following. But every. Single. Monster we came across, I said hi to them. Very pleasantly, too.
The only places I got really angry about - not scared, was when I couldn't see. When it was pitch-black and I couldn't see where I was going, when there were strobe lights in my eyes, or if I just couldn't find the door into the next room, my immediate reaction was to yell "fuck." I swore almost constantly. I wasn't scared, I just couldn't figure out where to go.
Dylan was yelling at me, telling me that I needed to move faster and that I needed to stop stopping. I began yelling back at him, saying that if he wanted to move so fucking fast he could come to the fucking front and fucking lead. I actually said it kinda like that in the terrified forest part of the attraction. I got pissed off at him because he wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. I wonder what the actors thought of me, because I wasn't exactly quiet about it. I didn't mind leading, but he needed to stop bugging me about my pace. I wanted to take in the scenery.
At one point we got caught up in this building. Not the haunted house, but part of the forest. There were three doors. I came to a dead stop. I didn't know which door to go through. Dylan started yelling at me, and I told him that we were at a fucking dead end. When I was sure that no one would jump out at me, I started opening doors. Turns out the last door I opened was the one we had to go through.
At another point, the ceiling kinda just fell. I ducked down, squatting as low as my knees would let me. I needn't have worried. It wasn't like they were going to let the roof fall on peoples' heads. They might get a lot of trouble for that. I just loved my reaction. I didn't think about it, I just crouched.
My favorite part, though, was during the haunted corn maze. I was freezing by this time. We had already encountered a guy that wanted us to eat a head on a stick, as well as someone that blew a fucking truck horn at us and then told us which way to go. After that was Satan's lair.
"Welcome to Satan's lair!" the guy said in his dramatic Satan voice. He said a couple other things, but I forget. I just asked him, "May I give you a hug?" He stopped. "What?" Still his Satan voice. "May I give you a hug?"
So I got a hug from Satan. He wiggled, made sexual noises, and didn't let me go for a while, but his coat was fluffy and I got a hug from Satan. It made my life, man. I couldn't let it go. For the rest of the night, I just kept bringing it up. I guess I'm his little demon or something. Because he was super nice to me, but still trying to scare my friends.
He asked, "Why are you here," or something like that. Everyone pointed at me. Then he went on about snitches. He turned to me and said, "Do you know what we do to snitches in hell?" "Eat them?" I asked. "We burn them!" And then a huge plume of fire went up beside us. I got excited, 'cuz it was warm and all. "Do that again!" I exclaimed.
So I didn't get scared, startled, but not scared, but I did have a fun time. I had a hugely fun time.
Then we went to Jessica's house, at spaghetti noodles and drank. I ended up sleeping at her house.
And Sunday I forget, too. I didn't work, but it was nice.
No wait! I remember!
I was sewing up my Rogue costume, because I was going to go skating with Abbi and it was supposed to a dollar off admission if you went in costume. I got the bodice done in about an hour - it looks like crap - and then I picked up Abbi.
I kept asking the guy at the counter a bunch of questions. A year ago, I would have been way too shy to do such a thing. But I don't know where this outgoing-ness came from. Galya tells me that I need to open up and I'm too removed or something, but she has no idea how I was before Classic got to me.
We skated for nearly the whole time. I got a blister, wasn't surprised, but I realize how out of shape I really am. And I lost my confidence on the ice. I did bunny hops no problem, I did a few lunges (my first one I always a fail, though). I only fell twice. That's actually a bad thing for me. Because I'm so rusty, I should have fallen more. I didn't take enough risks. I fell because of the lunge, I fell because I was trying to show Abbi a spiral. I knocked the wind right out of me. Oh, and I fell because of a completely failed waltz jump. That was the only time I even tried to do a waltz jump the whole night, too. No, I didn't fall. I just ... it was a fail.
I don't like that I'm losing my confidence on the place where I feel most comfortable, though. I love the ice. I'm afraid of it, but I still love it.
I dunno.
Afterwards, I took Abbi home and ended up staying at her house until eleven. Her mom fed me a wonderfully delicious dinner, and Abbi and I just talked.
She told me that Zach apparently asked her if I was a guy. From the sounds of it, he was serious. She also told me that Zach had gotten mad at Jonathan, and he may finally be getting the hint that we don't like him. He so stupid. Zach getting mad, though? That's rather out of character for him. He's one of the nicest guys I know. He's kinda a man-slut, but he's nicer than hell. I love that guy.
But he's just my friendless together. We both don't have friends, so we have to stick together. I don't know why everyone things we fucking flirt. Because I don't flirt with him. I just feel comfortable around him. As a friend.
I decided, though, that I need to start dragging Zach around with me so that we get our raises on our paychecks. It took Classic over five months to give Owen his raise once he turned 18. I don't want that happening to me, and since Zach turned 18 before me, I might as well include him. But I need him to bother Ralph with me. So I'll just drag him along.
Kinda like that rape-hug I gave him one 7:10, but not really. I don't care whether or not he'll help me. He just needs to be with me when I confront our boss.
I also decided with Abbi that Galya needs to stop talking to Nate. Just. Stop. Talking. I don't think I'm the jealous type, but I do not like the way she talks to him. She's very flirty herself. She's more or less in a relationship with Zach, almost had a relationship with Jake (that was bad enough, even though he pisses me off more than anything anymore, though I know that wasn't always the case, especially sifting through my older journals), and now she's got Nate going. Sort of. I just haven't ever seen that side of him. And I like him. Galya knows I like him. Nate knows I like him. I don't ... I actually want things to happen. Because things can still happen.
Nate doesn't people. I didn't use to people. People can actually really seriously change.
Geez oh Petes. This is a long ass journal and I still have Monday to talk about.
Okay, so Monday.
I went to school. I talked with Furious. Hell, I talked with Furious until four o'clock. We talked for a long time after class. At first we just walked around campus, but then we settled down in pi hall and tried getting through our problems of the day. We put a good half hour into them, and we couldn't figure out the second one. Furious thinks he might have figured it out his way, but I don't think it works that way. I don't actually remember. We can collaborate Wednesday again.
I think Furious is the flirty type, too. Good golly, how do I know all these people? He has a girlfriend, though. And I know his girlfriend. She goes to DHS still, and Furious never went there. I don't really get it, but whatever.
Furious just makes me feel a lot more comfortable around crowds than I ever have. Sure, our Calculus class is kind of like a family (not like Classic Pizza), and we all chat and talk and collaborate, and we're closer than any other class I've ever had. But still, I'm more outgoing especially since Furious started talking to me.
But he's taken. It's almost like Tyler all over again. Good golly, I miss that guy. So much. I still have a huge crush over him, even though I know I can't ever have him.
Then Monday at work, Erich called me and Jazmin outside. Apparently it was just to watch the sunset. Owen eventually told us that we need to get inside because we were getting a little busy. I told Owen I had no idea what that was about, and I think Erich overheard. Oh well. We're a family. XD Erich is like the fatherly figure. Wes is the drunk uncle that comes to visit.
Later, it was just me, Nate, and Erich on the clock. Everyone else went home. I don't even know when everyone else left. Nate asked me if I wanted to take the delivery coming out of the oven. He was serious. So, well, I took it. I didn't know where it was, and it took Nate a long while to explain. He kept retracing his finger back and forth along the roads I needed to take. I found it silly. But I still like this guy.
I had nineteen miles left on my car when I left the shop. I took the delivery, backtracked a couple times because I've never been in Loch Alpine before, but eventually found the house. On my way back, a huge ass tree fell across Joy. It wasn't there the first time I came up the road. At least I was able to drive along the shoulder to get around it. I couldn't do anything there.
By the time I got to the town, I had two miles left on my car. I filled it up right in town, which I never do because it's cheaper by the express way, and almost lost my hat a couple times to the wind. It was crazy. It almost pushed me over when I was waiting for the receipt to print, too. Like, legitely. I had to brace myself against the gust.
When I got back, Erich was on the phone with Ralph. He motioned to me that I needed to stay quiet. I mouthed why to Nate, and he told me it was Ralph. When Erich got off, he told me that I need to clock out, that he had just told Ralph that everyone was clocked out and gone. He forgot about me. Granted, I had been gone for half an hour, but really? lol
I stuck around, though. Nate took a delivery, was back within, like fifteen minutes, and I didn't leave until nine.
I totally forgot about Revolution. I didn't realize until that night.
When I was coming home, though, I took Lima Center to Beech to Dancer. It's the longer way home, but I get to listen to music that much longer. Right after the arc barn, another huge tree fell across the road. Well, it wasn't huge, but it stretched across the whole length of the road. I tried moving it. I probably would have been able to, too, but I eventually gave up and went around. Again.
I couldn't fall asleep last night, either. When I was finally drifting off, Puddin decided to freak out. I dunno what was up with her last night.
Anyway, I need to skedaddle to class. It's way later than it should be for me to get there on time. I've been typing this journal forever.
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