Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Work and Emotions

I walked into the shop Saturday and before I even clock in, Nate told me that something was a gift to me. I was confused, since I didn't really know what he was talking about, but after I clocked in, Wes went straight to the fridge, pulled out two Arizonas, and told me they were mine because I closed for him Friday night. Why couldn't Saturday have stayed awesome like that? No. It went so downhill after everyone showed up.

The rush started out like any other rush. A few phone calls at first, but we were able to keep up with the tickets and throw pizzas in in a timely manner. Me and Abbi were up front and I don't know what Wes was doing. Maybe he was up there with us, but I don't think so. Not right at the beginning. Then things started to pick up a while later, and they never stopped. I swear, our rush on Saturday lasted three hours. Almost three hours. Definitely over two hours.

At first, I was fine. I had my Abbi with me and Wes and I had another war talk and we honed the idea for kamakazi geckos for my spies. Later, when it was me and Abbi up front, I went on about getting a hedgehog. I've really wanted a hedgehog lately. I don't know where I'm going to find the hundred and some bucks for one, but I'm going to get one. Not gonna consult anyone about this.

Then, after the rush started getting bad, Abbi had to move to the cut table so that Sterphy could help Dumb in the back because things were starting to get backed up. Wes was generally slapping beside me, and I was getting pizzas through the oven on all three decks, so we were making good time, but we still couldn't keep up. Every now and again Wes had to leave me and I took over slapping so that I could top, and while that put me back a little, things were still going smooth. We had a lot of pans and a couple chicagos, and that threw off our timing, but generally customers weren't waiting.

That did change. I missed a pizza and completely mistopped on, and then missed another couple. Dumb threw in thirty Italian wings instead of thirty barbecue wings, but the customer was cool and took the Italian wings instead of barbecue. Wes almost lost it. He started throwing things around and yelling, but he somehow managed to mostly keep a lid on it, especially when the customers were around. He never really yelled at me for missing pizzas, but he didn't need to. After the third time I missed a pizza, I started to lose it. I whipped around and hit the boxes, I just threw the dough I was working on slapping out while Wes consulted with Sterphy. Customers were on the other side of the glass, but I didn't care.

After I missed a couple pizzas, my mood turned dark. I didn't say much, and all I could envision was slamming my fist into a wall as hard as I could without holding back. I've only been able to do that once, and while it hurt like hell, it snapped me back to reality. That's the night Jake took deliveries while he was supposed to be managing, but we got slammed.

Ben came up from rolling bread sticks - because we flat-out ran out of them - and told me that he was relieving me. I was so confused until he explained that Wes planned to throw me on the road and take a couple deliveries because we were backed up. That didn't happen right away, and then my mood oscillated between wanting to throw a violent tantrum to just curling up in a ball and crying. A couple times I did have tears in my eyes, and all I could do was top pizzas or slap out dough with my head turned downwards as I tried to blink them away. I couldn't afford to cry in the middle of a fucking rush.

Finally, Wes did throw me on a road. He told me to grab a wrap and take a run, and I was out. I passed by the guy's driveway once, because it was lightly raining and another person was coming at me so I couldn't see the addresses, and then I pulled in the right driveway after I turned around, but I still didn't know where I was going because the second time I came across the driveway someone was coming at me again and I couldn't see again. The driveway split into two, and I took the wrong one. I turned off my music, called the guy, turned around to the road again, and pulled into the other driveway, but that was completely wrong. The  last time I pulled into his driveway, I talked with the guy all the way up his driveway until he saw my car and then he just hung up. His driveway was awful. Soupy. Zippity was being thrown all over the place. He was nice, though.

I got back, and Wes had me take another delivery. I really didn't mind. When I went to his door, he checked the pizza, I told him it was a good idea, and I was back in the shop in probably ten minutes. So Wes had me take a Marshal, and told me he thought it was a right turn off of Baker, but he was wrong and I ended up having to turn around.

When I returned to the shop the third time, Wes kept me inside, but my mood had stabilized. Apparently Wes knew that I was beginning to lose it and that I needed to leave the shop. I don't even think he realizes how much I appreciate that. I was saying today that if Wes didn't let me leave that I probably would have ended up sitting on the ground at close unable to do anything.

Things were a lot better when I got back, since the rush was near the end. We were just in the aftermath of all the phone calls and it was mostly the drivers taking care of that.

Jake never really left Saturday night. Him and Opie were out in the parking lot - I think with Ben - and according to Nate tonight, Jake asked me to join them, but I was completely oblivious to his calls. Because after that night, I really would not have minded. I tell you, I'm falling in with the wrong crowd around these people, but I haven't really gotten in any trouble yet and I've been saying this for months. Nah, instead, as Matt was moping, Jake started throwing his keys around. I stole cookies from the store, which I think is the only reason he stuck around inside. At one point, he was tossing his keys to the ceiling and they got stuck in the air vent by the back makeline. His face. Oh man. Then, while we were finishing up, he threw his phone at me and we started playing catch with his phone.

I really, really wanted to go with Matt and Jake with whatever they were doing after close. But Abbi always comes over after we're closed up on Saturdays, and I didn't want to reject her, especially since she's been in rough form lately. I mean, I can relate, but I generally don't hurt myself. Well, actually, that may be false. Meh. So I didn't go with Matt and Jake. I asked Abbi if she was following me, she said she didn't know, and when I took off - like, seriously, I whipped it out of Classic's parking lot and almost lost control - I stopped at the stop sign at the end of the road and just waited there for Abbi to pull out. It took her a while, but eventually she pulled out behind me.

We talked and snuggled for way too long, because we didn't fall asleep until around seven. Granted, this is with daylight savings time, but still.

I woke up just in time to go to work again. Yippee.

Sunday was a lot less eventful. Jake's car crapped out on him, and while I was keeping John around so that he could take deliveries for the late rush I knew would happen, John ended up closing for Jake. So John went out to Farrel, and while he was gone I got a Psycho Farms delivery, a Gregory, a Huron Court, and a Hidden Woods. He took the Psycho Farms and Huron as a double, and then while he was gone I got another delivery for something off of Huron River. He ended up taking Gregory and Hidden Woods as a double, despite it not being the best, but he was the only driver and we worked with what we had. While he was gone for most of the time, Jake showed up again despite his car barely working, and I swept and did most of John's dishes for when he came back. We ended up walking out of there at a decent time, but Jake and I are never out that late.

Puddin's sitting in her bowl again. I don't know what to do with that rabbit. Not even ten minutes earlier she was attacking her cage like an enraged bull.

Now she's just sitting there. Staring. Her nose isn't even twitching.

I put her up for sale because I was fed up with her antics, and then before I even had anyone interested I took her ad off again. I'm going to get a new buck, and I'm going to get bunnies from her. Then I can get rid of her. Just give me three more months with her. I can do it.

Today was Monday, right? Well, I suppose it's Tuesday now, but ... shit. I need to go to bed. I'll be getting seven hours of sleep, and I usually don't function well on that after a while. I'll probably get five, because it takes me forever to fall asleep. I mean forever. Always. It sucks. But I'm used to it, y'know? Meh.

Oh man! Wes was pissed off at Dumb Sunday! Even though Dumb didn't work that day, he worked Friday and Saturday. Friday night he didn't clean the mop sink like Wes asked him to. I didn't make him because he was out of there way too late as it was. Saturday I knew he had to, so I had him clock out and do it, and Wes was still angry at him Sunday because he didn't do a well enough job. Dumb also forgot a lot of things for prep, and he did such a shitty job on Saturday that Wes is talking of firing him. I'm not gonna lie. I'd be so happy if he gets fired.

Well, today wasn't bad at all. It was really, really slow. About a half hour into my shift, Nate called up, and while I totally thought he was Matt for the first few seconds for some reason (he said is this Abby, that's why - Matt always does that), he called because the customer he delivered to wanted to pay with a credit card. Except our credit card machine decided to bite it today, and Ralph played with it for a very, very long time. He called people up, but he couldn't fix the damn thing. So we ran the whole night without a credit card machine. It was so awkward telling customers on the phone that it wasn't working, but no one had a problem with it besides the people that Nate delivered to.

Abbi showed up a couple times. The first time with Bethany, and Ralph kicked her to the customer area because of insurance reasons. Bethany didn't much like that. The second time alone, and by then it was just Nate and me. And her. She did work off the clock, but I was in such a mood to not even care about anything. Besides, my mind was all on Nate again.

I asked him if he'd go driving with me tonight, but he wouldn't come with me. He laughed at me and asked me why the hell I do it. He said it was a waste of time. I thought of it more as a waste of money. Everything I do in my life is a waste of time. I'm the least productive person ever.

He'll take my cookies, though. I'm gonna bake cookies Saturday and give some to Jake because he's closing that night, and some to Nate because it's Nate and because I missed his birthday, and I'm gonna eat the rest because damned if I don't.

I dunno. I get the feeling more often now than not that he only tolerates me. But today he was pretty damn fucking talkative. I don't remember what we talked about at all, though. Damn it.

*sigh*

I should go to bed. There's other things I could and should and would bring up, but I gotta go to bed. Dude, it's past four in the morning and I fucking have school tomorrow.

Fuuuuuuuuck.

SONG OF THE DAY: Cutting the Ties ~ August Burns Red

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