I Fail

Yes, I've been hearing that all day. Along with the stupid that's what she said jokes. *rolls eyes* 

But anyway, I decided to title the journal this way because . . . I do.

So, because I don't like my German teacher this year, my grade hasn't been that great in the class. Last year I probably had a 97% average in the class, and this year I can't get my grade above a C+. Mmm boy. Also, I just discovered I have a D+ in English class because I failed to turn in one essay, and we don't do a lot in that class. *narrows eyes* Now I wonder, though . . . she didn't put in my twenty points of extra credit for donating two hours of my time in for a debate thing. Debate is so stupid . . .

Other than that, though, I'm doing good. I'm getting a pretty good grade in Chem, I either have a B+ or A- in Pre-Calc and I have an A+, as always, in my art class. 'Cause Autumn's just that cool. I also discovered that when I left Chemistry yesterday after finishing the lines for a mural for art class (figure that one out) that my teacher was complimenting me and saying how I'm so smart. But through the whole class, both in the morning and at the end of the day, I kept muttering under my breath how nothing made any sense.  Oh well. I'm smart--see?

School, though, isn't my only fail place. My ability to stick with an art project is kind of sucking right now. I have two or more digital pictures I've been working on for a while that aren't even close to finished. Ninja Woods still isn't finished, at least draft four of it. Uhm . . . my Gambit picture I started a while ago? I don't even know where that went. I did pick up CotB: All About Remy again lately, and I've been working on that, though.

Oh! Another fail area: My blog? Yeah, I ain't been updating it. Great grammar, huh?

Then on X-Men: Fallen Apart, I finally got on it again and back into the community, and I can't even get a reply post up for Raven. I'm so glad everyone loves me. Seriously. Over the past not even twenty-four hours I had two people PM me about how they kind of want to leave the forum for one reason or another, but cannot because they either like their character . . . or me. They say that I'm the only person they really thought they could come up to. Wth? I'm loved . . . but why does everyone come to me? Do they not know that my ability to sympathize with people is a lot lower than most average. A LOT. (Maybe that's why I play Liam so well . . . *shiver*)

Uhm, so, yeah.

Field hockey's been over for a while. I miss it dreadfully. It makes me laugh to read the previous journal and how much I hated burpees. Okay, I still hate them, but they don't tire me out to death anymore. I can do them. Goes to show how much in shape I was then. I don't want that to happen to me again . . . And I am SO playing it again next year. Absolutely no way I am not. I love the sport! I love being active! I love . . . being a part of a team. There's still parts where I feel a little left out, but only during the practices when we pair up and I'm the last to be chosen. During the game . . . I'm somebody. You know, I've never really known how that feels before.

*sigh*

I think one last thing. I kind of sense a story.

So there's this one girl that was on my field hockey team, as goalie. Her name's Sarah. When I was on Varsity, I got to listen to her and whatnot, get to know her. Y'know? Well, I developed a crush on her, and at first it really freaked me out. I mean, I never liked a girl before. But now I've accepted it and . . . yeah. But while I was searching for more information on Sarah, I realized she's at least bi as well (pretty sure she's lesbian, but whatevah). Excited me, then. But I also discovered that she had a girlfriend. And, uhm . . . I couldn't do anything, then. 'Cause then I'd be an ass. 

Today, however, Kyra came up to me and said that Sarah broke up with Destiny. And . . . she did. So now that I have a chance to talk to Sarah and stuff . . . I gettin' all whimpy again. I don't know if dA journals go back that far, but there was a point in time when I was pretty much obsessed over this one kid two grades ahead of me my Freshman year. Sarah's in my grade and we're at least on talking terms. I just don't know if we could ever become something more than friends.

So I don't know what to do. How to I go up to her and express than I like her? I'm a girl and I don't even know how to treat another girl! Bleck.