Moving On!

Now that I have that pencil project out of the way - which took way longer than I was hoping for it to - I can move on to things that need being done. XD Well, it's true.

I still have to start with the facial study for the January's art focus. I'm going to be doing a lot of traditional art for this, partially because it's simply studies, and a lot of it will be just sitting in the classroom and doing gesture studies. Or something. I dunno yet.

I not only need to get simple positioning down, but general shading as well. What is a typical shadow on a face, highlights, etc. I'll be focusing on eyes, eyebrows, noses, mouths, teeth, ears ... all of them separately. I'll look at the skull as well as the facial muscles, which is really important.

This study is probably going to be one of the most complicated. Or so's the hope, y'know?

I just wish that I didn't have to cope with school as well. I'm so fucking done with it, I wish that it could be done with me. And the thing is, I think I have all the credits I need to graduate. It would be nice to finish AP Calc so I don't have to take it in college, but ... I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

Then I have friends posting on FB and crap, saying that they're rearing for the next semester to begin (or the second half of the second trimester for us). Some say that they're glad school is starting if only to see friends again.

They're not even worth the crap I have to deal with anymore. I can meet up with friends now, thanks to a driver's license. And I get a little too much social interaction at my job anyway. I do phones and carry out at a pizza parlor.

I want to focus on my art and writing. That's all. I have this drive to improve, so it'll happen, damn it.

I'm on a whole pessimistic roll again, and that never ends well. I hit a depressed period, where I withdraw from everyone, listen to the heavy metal in my music library (or dubstep online), and I never get anything done. I can't look at the bright side and I eventually end up crying or damn near it most of the time.

And the sucky part is that this happens a lot more than it used to. Quite often, and it lasts a long time.

I've been dreading going back to school for a fuckingweek now. Probably longer, really.

Damn it, my grades are going to drop like a rock when I get back. I can see it now. And I won't care. So then I'll get yelled at by my parents because I'm not doing well, and that'll just set the cycle again. It's hard to get out of this damn hole that I dug for myself. I've lost it, man.

So I'm going to stop before I actually do end up bawling. Though I'm pretty much there.